Angels and Demons
by SafaiaMurakami
Summary: When a girl from his past shows up once again and they are swept together in the pain, suffering, and blood who would have thought the two would ever end up like this? And more importantly, when good and bad are subjective terms, who is who, and will they survive the night. Levi x OC Fan fic all rights reserved Tch, what a pain.
1. Prologue

Attack On Titan Fanfic

I lived within the wall Maria growing up as a child, My family was by no means poor, but some times we did scrape to get by. My parents also were a bit different than other parents now that I reflect back. They insisted that I be able to speak what they called French. As they told me, long ago before the walls had been erected people far and wide spoke different languages and had different nationalities then gathered themselves into countries according to their beliefs.

Having this ability or skill they told me would make me stand out, and helped shape me. Their only daughter, Seraphin Claribel Olivette. Oh how I hated my name so, even still I come to loath it late in the night as I lay awake. All that bloody name did was get me picked on by the other kids. Sure my five older brothers would look after me when they could. But I hated that too.

Being treated like a child. Like a little girl who cannot protect herself and is too weak to put up any sort of a fight. The oldest of us was Dimitri. He definitely saw me as the baby of the house, and though he left to join the Garrison would often come home and dote on me. Thinking back to him now, I loved him so, and if not on his insistence I would not have been a good student.

The twins and rebels were Nathanael, and Matthieu, my mother would always scold them for being too "rough" with me. I think I loved them the most though. They taught me all the things I would really need in life. How to fight, how to run, and most importantly how to hide. Those two heelions would run me into the ground with play fights and games as though I just another brother.

Nicolieu was the next youngest after them. He was always quiet, and preffered reading a book over working with the rest of the men in our house. He also liked science which was growing into a dangerous hobby with the governments restrictions on certain types of books. He got his hands on them somehow though. And late at night I would crawl into his bed after a nightmare and he would read me to sleep. He had a wonderfully soft voice which simply lulled me into a blissful rest.

And then there was Olivier. He was the closest to my age, only a year apart. He was mothers' favorite as well. When it soon became apparent that I was not the doll like daughter she had dreamed about she doted on him. I never minded. They would cook and manage the house together and they were merry. How could I have possibly protested that? The truth was, Olivier was different too. He hated wrestling with the other boys. He hated science and all the other books father tried to get him to read. All he wanted to do was sit under the trees and watch the sky and the clouds.

Vaguely I remember a day where he grabbed me from my bed early in the morning and brought me outside to watch the sun come up. He was so entranced and still that I thought I may still be dreaming. He would later carry my small form back to bed before anyone got up and caught us. He was always dragging me around to random places. Always quiet and always very pretty, but he pointed out the least pretty things about them in his ever happy voice.

"you know Seraphin" he would start as we watched a bird fly overhead clutching a snake in its' talons "the bird may die still, snakes can fight back even without wings or claws. He may only get one strike at the bird, but still, it is a chance to survive"

"Olivier! You are so weird, no wonder the twins pick on you. Serene and happy one moment then morbid and still cheeky the next" I would exclaim and he would just laugh and look to the sky with a look I could never identify.

But then again all my brothers were odd; all so very different. Dimitri was tall and broad built for the work of a carpenter. His chestnut colored hair short so as not to get in his way as he worked.

The twins, sandy colored hair, blue-grey eyes always planning some sort of mischief as their lanky bodies stayed thin but grew taller. In our house we could always tell them apart but they were always excited to cause mayhem when people could not tell one from the other. Idiots.

Nicolieu, had the softest blond hair that would cover his eyes. Mother insisted he cut it but he never did. And she never forced it as long as all the chores got done. Now that I try to recall it seems like even back then his slate grey eyes held more life. Was that not how it was for everyone?

Then back to Olivier. He was the most like me in the aspect that his long muddied-brown hair was always bound back with a leather cord and his eyes though blue seemed green in certain lights and black in others. Much like my own "green" eyes which were oddly formatted. The edges a cross of blue and violet then the grey which turns to a vibrant green until melting into a burgundy type color near my pupil. He was also very frail and thin like me. At school people would joke that we were twins even though he was a year older. But it never mattered to us.

In the end though I was a bit of a black sheep of the family. My auburn hair seemed more red than brown in day but at night they swore my hair was black. Even my mother and father could not figure out why I looked so different. My mother had the lightest of brown for her hair and eyes like the clear blue sky. My father had dirtied blond hair which complimented his stormy blues.

But this was years ago, and I am not even giving you my whole story. Which I should probably rectify seeing as how I am writing this to leave behind at least some trace of my existence. I swore to them I would survive and I cannot bring myself to forget this. So when the time comes I fall through on my promise, I hope that even if only our tale lives on they will not be too upset with me.

Goodness knows Matthieu and Nathanael would have thrown me in the stream for breaking my word.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"My angel, come here" mother called to me, she was in the kitchen making what would be my birthday dinner. I was turning twelve today and most of my brothers had been suspiciously absent since I woke up. I knew Dimitri had duty so that did not concern me, but I kept turning around to look over my shoulder in case the twins jumped out at me.

"Yes, mama" I asked curious for why she called me in.

"Could you go find your brothers? Papa needs their help in the yard" she informs me in her usual joyful voice. I nod obediently and go down the hall to the front door, the well-worn floors hardly squeaking under my weight. Slipping out the door, I figure I could start near town and work my way back. The twins seemed to spend a lot of time in that general direction.

The walk was not all that exciting. The houses and gardens of my neighbors are ever the same as always, all well-built but obviously not the fanciest things in existence. The children play with each other and ignore me. I hardly would have given their actions a thought because of how normal they were but with today being my birthday I cannot but help to feel even more out of place.

My papa tells me it is because of how we live our lives. They just do not understand why we insist on staying the way we are. Not only with our language but also with how much my parents teach my brothers and I. Despite what my some of my brothers may portray they are all actually very smart. The taboo books my father keeps that tell about outside of the wall are full of wonderful things school does not share.

Dimitri even told me last year that he could by pass most of the book work in military school because of what father taught him. Not that that has any relevance to my situation, there is no way mother would allow her 'little angel' to venture into danger. I guess it was a good thing mama lived in ignorant bliss.

Turning my attention out of my head and back to my surrounding I begin to look about the crowd for the two idiots.

"Nathanael! Matthieu! Where are you?" I shout. This does not really draw too much attention. Just odd looks here and there as my voice becomes drowned out in the roar of the market stalls. Where were those fools? They always upped and ran out when I needed to find them.

"Nathanael! Matthieu!, Ou etes-vous fous?" I call out again but in French. If that did not make me stand out anymore then I do not know what would. Again and again I call until I reach the other side of the market. Only about four miles from where I began, it was quiet on this side of the markets and I cannot say that I minded. My throat hurt a bit from all my shouting.

"le nurf de ces deux, me faire passer pour eux" I mutter sitting down and taking a break in the sun. It felt so warm and peaceful that I simply had to close my eyes and relax in it for a while. I do not think I could have sat there long before a shadow cut me off from the light.

Looking up into the silloet of the figures my stomach drops as I see the dark hair. "Jermey" was the ring leader of the kids at school who had made it their goal to make my life hell. I honestly cannot remember what I did to make him hate me. Once in primary school I took his turn to read because he stuttered far too much. But please, he was ten, I was seven and I could no longer stand the inefficient way he spoke.

"look what the cat dragged in" he taunts as his groupies begin to fill in around him. There were four, not including him. I froze still as a sparrow before snakes. Brilliant, just brilliant. Where were they when I needed them.

I looked at them but did not speak. My heart racing in my chest. I could take one maybe two of them, but all five was too much for me. I sorely wished the twins had been into the city today. They always had my back, Olivier,and Nicolieu too even. They had managed to keep me out of any serious fights in school when people felt pericularly harsh.

"what is wrong, ma Cherie" he asks mockingly using the term for dear. His voice grading roughly on words he should not have spoken. "cat got your tongue?" he continues taking a step closer. I remain still trying to calm my nerves and remember what the twins had tought me as we wrestled and play fought.

"you are little and light, Sera" they had told as they easily pushed me to the ground. I had hardly put up a fight. "If you ever get in a fight with a person bigger than you, you need to move quickly and use their momentum against them. They will not be able to stop their action if you do not move until the last second"

The vermin before me with his rancid breath pulls back his arm to punch. "you and your bastard brothers think you are so special and smart" he growls putting as much force as he can as he aims for my face.

I duck as late as I can and as I hear his fist connect with the brick behind me I smile internally. I roll to my feet as quickly as I can and try to bolt for the entrance back into the market but one of his taller friends grabs my collar and tosses me to the ground as Jermey continues to curse.

"Bitch!"

"Who does she think is?"

"we need to teach her"

All their voices began to melt together and I have no need nor desire to hear every word. I flip my body over and kick the guy who had me as hard as I possibly could in the crotch. His grunt and his release of me was my reward. But short lived. As he rolls on the ground in pain the other grab me and begin to kick me. I cannot even manage to get up to flee.

I curl into a ball and cry out as each hit radiates through my body. My back, my legs, my stomach, my head, my arms. After a while I think they go away but the pain stayed and I could tell the sun was going lower in the sky. I did not move. Even breathing was an effort I did not wish to expend. Maybe if I took a nap it would all go away when I woke up. I doubt it thought. It was too painful to just go away.

Darkness was coming over me now. I could not tell if it was from the pain or the setting sun but I knew mama, and papa, even my brothers would be worried if I did not make it home by night fall. I did not want them to worry. Or did I? would they come for me then and I would not have to get up. That would be nice, just taking a short nap and making them bring me back. It was ever so appealing I think I may just do that.

I lower my eyelids doing my best to ignore the pain. I just needed to get to sleep and I would be free of it right? To no avail, a cough shakes my body and I cannot seem to make up my mind about whether to cough or cry.

Why was everything going wrong today? I could not seem to comprehend.

Squinting through blurry eyes I search for someone. But all I can make out is dirt and filth that litters the street. The tears dried up but the heaves continued as the dust choked me and the pain vibrated again.

Laying there I realized what made it that much worse. I could not do anything. I was nothing but that little girl my parents called me. I was useless and broken now, nothing more than an out casted little girl, trying to be something she is not. That struck me just as hard as five of their blows.

Dejected I was about to close my eyes again when I swore I saw a shadow move. Something in me forced me to call out at least one more time.

"Aider," help. That was all I could manage. Why had I called out in French? Must have been a blow to the back of the head, my words were confused.

None the less I make out a hazy figure move toward me. it fades in and out of clearness as it approaches. I try again "aider", could I manage no more?

Now directly in front of me I make out a boy, perhaps 15 or 16. The sun shone behind him giving him an other-worldly look, His slate grey eyes piercing. "Fille," he addresses me with the French word for girl, and continues on in French.

"Do you have a name girl? A family?" he questions in a slightly deadpan voice. It was not all hollow though.

"Olivette," I rasp out. It was my surname and should be enough for him. He seemed to be on my side. Or at least not intending harm.

"this will hurt," he warns as he suddenly lifts me from the ground. Hurt? That was one hell of an understatement. I cried with my already hoarse voice before blacking out. I am sure that I heard him 'tsk' at that too. That would have irritated me if I had been awake to actually protest it. But nope, luckily I finally managed to black out.

I do not know when I awoke again but I could feel pain and pressure around my ribs and legs. My body swayed as though was being carried. 'must be that guy, I wonder if he is actually trying to help me' I think belatedly. Even if he was not intending to help me there was nothing I could do about it now.

"oi, do you know where the Olivettes live?" he questions someone in a harsh voice. He was speaking English now.

"why would you want to know where those freaks live. Just a house of sacrilegious fools who insist on being radicals. No one wants to go there" the man's voice was harsh and gruff. I could not muster up any energy to care at this point however. Let them curse me, allI wanted to do was sleep.

I can feel myself being spun in a fluid motion. It was not all that jostling but I still whined from the pain. My whine was not heard however as a sickening crack sounded and the guy, who I assumed was insulting my family yells out half in surprise and half in pain.

"The fuck?!" his nasy voice grates "What was that for?" there was a scurrying of motion and the the sound of feet running off.

"tsk, useless ass hole" the guy carrying me says as the gentle rocking of steps begins again. He was warm I noted. Relaxing ever so slightly so that I leaned in toward him and into his chest.

"fille," he addresses me again in French. "are you still out cold or what?" his voice while cold was not frigid. Even if it had been I would not have minded. He smelled like sunlight and the wind of a breezy autums day.

"A bit" I whisper so quietly I doubt he can hear me. He grunts and continues walking never shifting my weight in his arms. While I knew I was light he must have been pretty well built to not at least shift me. A farm worker or a factory boy maybe?

We continued on is an empty silence. Neither of us seemed to mind as he walked. In all honesty I am not even sure I was awake and lucid. The only thing that was a definite for me was the pain that continued to throb. I even swore I heard my name being called. Though it sounded distant.

Maybe it was not a dilution I could have sworn that the calls were growing clearer. The first time they called out they would call in French then repeat the call in English.

"Seraphin! Where are you? Mother is worried. Seraphin!" that sounded like Olivier. But seemed pretty far ahead of us. The next call was to the left and right of us. Closer this time.

"Sera!" "Sera!" that must have been the twins. I think trying to voice this thought to him. I am rather sure it came off muffled and slurred though.

"Fille, are they calling for you?" he asks trying to clarify what I said and I make a sound of agreement. "Seraphin? Is that not the name of an angel? How fallen are you and so young" his voice was melodic in the sence of his French. The words flowed beautifully nearly pushing me into sleep again.

"Seraphin! Come out!"

"oi over here," the rumble in his chest vibrate through me as he calls out.

"What?" the voice I can now identify as Matthieu calls out nearing quickly. "who are yo-" the stops, I would assume a soon as he sees me curled up in my mysterious saviors arms. "Seraphin," he says in shock. I could picture his face behind my closed eyes.

A gentle hand moves the hair from my face and I manage to open my eyes ever so slightly. Yup it was matthieu. His face was flickering through shock, concern, anger, and guilt.

"what happened to her! What did you do?" he spits in english hardly able to form the words. The one holding me however does not even flinch.

"I found her like this on the street" he says tonelessly in French none the less. Matthieu was probably gaping at him

"I appologise, give her here" he says and I feel his hand touch my back. I cry out a little and curl tighter to the stranger.

The other voices call out for me again before he replies. "I think it would be best for me to just carry her, she is obviously in a great deal of pain and needlessly shifting her is pointless" he says somewhat insistently. By this point I had already closed my eyes and did not know how the two looked at each other.

"Nathanael! Olivier" he shouts causing me to flinch a bit "I found her!" and there was silence that followed until approaching foot steps could be heard. Three sets though as opposed to the two sets I was expecting. So Nicolieu was there as well, I am not surprised we did not hear him.

They caused a bit of a commotion as they got closer but He never shifted or flinched.

"will you all just shut up, it would be best to get her home rather than stand around in the lowering light" he orders them. Which to my half aware state had me thoroughly impressed. Shutting them up seemed to be something only mama could do.

"your right" Nicolieu says his voice only breaking the silence not the tension as they begin walking. I settle in closer to his chest and sigh. I really was quite warm, I would hate when he put me down. I was already not relishing the pain factor. I think I may have drifted off again because the next thing I hear is mama gasp and I open my eyes just long enough to see her rush tward me. One of the twins stops her before she can try to take me. Father moved into the door was and I heard him curse.

"Boys, get her into her room and one of you go get pain pills from the cabnet" he orders darkly and they do as told. Olivier leads Him to my room where he sighs. "I am quite sorry, for this" he whispers placing me down. I squeeze my eyes shut and resist every instinct telling me to scream. Successful in repressing the scream but not the tears as they fall down my face.

"what the hell happened" I hear my father demands in the hall. My guardian had not yet left to my awareness so papa must have been talking to my brothers. They would not know, they were not there. More hushed questions and then shouts echoed from the hall but I could not bring myself to stay awake any longer. I just wanted to sleep, desperately so.

I should thank him, get his name I think but the merciful blanket of sleep was falling over me quickly. I could not move a single muscle, my eyes would not open for one last look, my voice would not utter another word. 'thank you' I wish as I am pulled into oblivion.

The dark haired stranger stepped from her room and began to move down the hall with haste to avoid being stopped, but being in a house with the girls parents and four of her brothers he should have known there was no way he would get out without one of them interrogating him. He braced himself for this as the father came around the corner.

"My sons say you speak French?" he questions in english only to be sure. The stranger nods but does not say anything more.

"come with me son" he says gesturing down the hall to what was their living room and despite the modest residency was quite spacious. Seeing as how there was no wall between this and the kitchen. Within the room photo graphs and books lined the walls which now also inhabited the four brothers. They look up when their father enters with the stranger.

"please, take a seat" he says gesturing to an open chair which the stranger does hesitantly. He did not seem to be comfortable surrounded by people. "I will cut straight to the point, do you know who harmed our Seraphin?" he asks to this the stranger shakes his head to the negative. If he had, perhaps it would have ended differently.

The father sighs and rubs his face. "what is your name, boy?" he asks

"I would rather not," he dead pans not giving his name. "you see, I am not excactly in good standing with the law and avoiding unnessasary loose ends is always for the best." He figured it was best to be honest with them so they would throw him from their house and he could be off again. Helping the girl had taken up too much time as it was.

"A criminal? Surely not, you look far too young for that. Besides you brought her back to us," the father tries to reason and the dark haired guest cuts him off.

"Do not make me out to be more than I am. I was going to leave her there. I thought she was dead. When she called out to me though I became obligated to help her. You do not just leave them laying there for the wolves to snatch. And I am seventeen for that matter, old enough to steal, fight and kill in this god forsaken world." He continues with the same monotone tenor.

"why on earth was a child as small as her out alone any way. That was one stupid hell of action. Is the girl retarded?" he asks brashly and the brothers shift angrily for a moment.

"shut your mouth" growls Matthieu as he pushes off the wall and moves toward the shorter teen.

"It was an honest question, the girl is what? Eight or nine? Far too frail and small to wander such a dangerous place alone" he continues unintimidated

"Seraphin is twelve today" pipes Olivier pleasantly from his place in the room. He was looking at a book on the shelf with clever eyes. "so small isn't she though?" he ponders aloud in agreement to the strangers words.

"regardless we thank you" comes Nicolieu's voice soft as he stands behind his father. Those two were calmer than the twin who seemed to be radiating their anger and desperate to punch something.

"So help them if we ever figure out who they are" growls Nathanael storming from the room. The visitors slate grey eyes watched guardedly as he passes and exits not only the room but the house. The loud slam serves to silence all semblance of conversation and they stand there staring at one another.

The woman who was the mother and wife of the house eventually exited Seraphin's room quietly and stand in the door way. He eyes were red and her eyes down cast. She did not speak and the silence continued until Olivier speaks up.

"mother, how is Sera?" he asks voicing a question everyone wished to know but dared not to venture aloud.

"concussion, bruises, fractures, cuts. But they will heal and she should be fine" she says though her voice catches on the end. The boy stands and moves to leave stotically. As he passes the woman he says.

"woman, you should be happy she is not dead, it could have been worse. So quit your crying" the words sounded harsh but the woman nods and wipes her face.

"should you need anything we are all in your debt" she says still quiet and while a bit choked up it was obvious she was making the effort to calm down.

He 'tsked' and moved to the door. Without a word slipping into the night.

"Thank you" the mother whispers again after he goes, fore she cannot but feel imence gratitude for what he has done for them.

"mother, you should not thank him, he is a criminal" comes the voice of the remaining twin as he passes their mother and goes to the door of his room. His hand grips it and he begins to open the door when his mother stops him.

"Don't you dare insult him. He saved Seraphin and that is all we need to know." All the men in the room go silent and look down in shame.

"I will be with Sera if any of you need me" with a tone finality. She returns to Seraphin's room and the house falls back into silence with a click.


	3. Chapter 2

~Chapter two~

When I woke up I was immensely sore. Mostly my head is what pounded the skin around my ribs was quite tender. I immediately gave up on the idea of sitting up compromising instead for opening my eyes and looking about my surroundings.

I was in my room with no recollection on how I got there. And the sun was filtering light through my window so I assumed it was some time after noon. Mother sat sleeping in a chair and she looked like a wreck. Did she stay up all night with me? Who knows. The blankets covering me were thick, must have been from my parents room.

I was suspicious about the actual state of my body so I tried to take inventory slowly. I could move my feet which was a good sign but pain raced up my legs which was unpleasant. My ribs were tender as I noted before making breathing a bit of a task. All of my fingers moved on command except my pinky which I would assume was broken. And then my head just hurt. Since I could not remember how I got there I would guess my memory relapsed and I had a concussion.

I close my eyes again deciding that I have had enough excitement for that day and just want to go back to sleep. The door opens and I do not check to see who it is. Only myself and Nicolieu walked that quietly.

"Nico" I say my voice hoarse from disuse and dry. He does not speak but instead runs out of the room and next thing I knew father, Olivier, Matthieu, Nathanael, and he came back in the room. Their commotions woke up mother who as slightly disoriented and slightly panicked upon seeing them all in the room.

"What, happened what is wrong?" she asking in her half-awake half asleep state.

"nothing mama, Seraphin woke up is all" says oliver in his usual calm and happy voice. I would have laughed had I not been in such pain. But oh well,

Mama leans over quickly toward me, she looked unstable and had me conserned she would fall over. Luckily father was beside to steady her and prevent her from falling down. Could only watch as mama's eyes filled with tears and she covered her mouth. I opened my mouth to tell her not to cry but my throat was too dry.

"my beautiful little angel, are you alright?" she asks me waiting and watching me with rapt attention. She must have been worried, I am not one hundred percent sure as to why but I could assume from what little I remembered I must have been out after the boys beat me up. A guess when one of the brothers found me she felt guilty for sending me out.

I tried again to speak but it came out hoarse and barely audible. Luckily Nico had the sense to bring me water. Mama helped me sit up carefully. That hurt like hell but for every ones sake I hid it as best I could.

After draining nearly the whole glass I realized just how thirsty I had been. And I also had a new appreciation for ice cold water, for when I spoke up again it did not sound nearly as bad, still quiet but not as harsh and scratchy.

"I am ok mama, it is ok," my suspicions on her feelings of guilt are revealed when she heaves a sob.

"sh, sh, mama,nI am ok, it is not your fault. I should not have wandered so far in the city. Please do not blame yourself. " I try to conosole her. I loved my mother, she was always kind and loving. Even when she was mad and she terrified father I loved her and she still loved us.

"I am so so so sorry my angel, forgive me" she says shaking her head and trying to hide her tears from me.

"Come dear, you have been up this whole time, you really should sleep now, I can talk to her and one of the boys can always stay with her" says father quietly ushering her to the door as she muttered apologies between her sobs. God, now I felt terrible. Making mama cry.

After a long period of silence I speak up again. However speak up may be an understatement considering I was hardly above a whisper. "so how long was I out for?" I ask no one in particular. Nico surprises me by being the first on to speak up.

"Nearly three days" he says softly though not sugar coating it obviously. It takes a minute for this to sink in. Three days? Really? For some reason I found this hard to believe. How could I just miss three days of my life?

"Well then" is the only response I can come up with. Olivier sits next down next to my bed and smiles at me in his usual way, as if nothing were wrong.

"I can tell you all about what you missed and we can go outside later if you feel up to it. You honestly didn't miss much so don't fret Sera" he says serenely as he always has. I do not know what it was about Olivier but nothing seemed to bother him it was as if he were a large rock in a stream unmoving and untouched by the water that ran around it.

"That sounds like fun" I reply back. It was true, I was stiff and wanted to move but I doubt I would think that when the pain started acting up.

"Before that angel I have to know who hurt you" says father interrupting my thoughts.

I nod, of course he wants to know who hurt me. I also will not feel any guilt when one of my brothers happens to cross his path. "Jermey," and the twins fume from their spot by the door.

"which of you brought me home?" I question. It had actually bothered me that I could not recall how I got home. They all gave me a funny look as though I had said something stupid.

"what?"

"Do you really not remember?" this was from Matthieu.

"No, should I?"

"no I suppose not, you were flitting in and out as Nathanael carried you back" continues Matthiue. I did not like how he said that or how everyone else in the room was tense as they took in my reaction. An uncomfortable thought flitted through my mind. Were they lying to me?

"oh, ok. Thank you Nathanael" I say as they all seem to relax. I could not but help to feel suspicious, but I really should not. They had no reason to lie to me. I was safe and sound at home with my beloved family.

"Olivier," I say turning to him resisting the urge to winice. "can you make me something sweet? I am starving."

The boys all begin to laugh as the tense air breaks. Father gently ruffles my hair and grins down at me.

"you heard her Olivier, go make her a breakfast fitting of a birthday girl" bellows father as he turns to leave the room. Olivier laughs easily with the others and follows father out.

Once the twins calm down their unnervingly identical faces take their leave soon after. Before they go they promise me in a whisper that he will pay. I cannot but help to smile at this. Despite being mother's little angel I was glad he would pay.

Perhaps I will go to the place called hell. It was a place I had read about in one of father's secret books. It was suppose to be a very bad and scary place for people who did horrid things. After all the rest of the book was about the 'god' and his son who suffered for us. I cannot say that I particularly understand the book or its' message though. If hell is a place for bad people then would the 'god' they spoke of not be sent there as well. He was the one who sent the angels to destroy Sodom and gordem. So would it not make sense that with all the other bad things he allowed to happen we would meet him there? I think so.

Nico pulled me out of my thoughts by feeling my forehead for a temperature. I weakly swatted him away.

"stop that" I whined slightly. I may have been the little sister and the baby of the family but I was not helpless.

"you are a terrible liar" he tells me gently

"I am not a liar, I just refuse to be helpless. Speaking of which. I am going to have to get the twins to help me with fighting some more. I know mama does not like it but I do not want to get hurt like this again. Bastards" I mutter quietly.

A comfortable silence settles in around us as we just enjoy the other's company. Eventually I can feel myself getting tired and I wondered what was taking Olivier so long. "hey Nico, can you go check and see if Olivier is almost done?" I asked him in no particular way. I knew he would because I asked. He was always so kind and supportive in his own special way.

Simply nodding and rising he moves to the door and opens it at the same time I would assume Olivier was trying to because the two rock slightly as they come face to face inside of the doorway.

"Speak of the devil" I say as Nicolieu steps aside and Olivier steps in.

"Of course, because angels always have their breakfast brought to them by the devil." Is the overly pleasant and amused reply of dear Olivier.

"Only because I can" I toy back and he laughs for us both.

"would you like to know what I have made you?" he says dragging out my suspence

"it better be food with extra sweetness," I demand even through a yawn I feel coming.

"No I brought you twigs and mud, of course I brought you something sweet Sera" he presents we with his special honeyed bread with fruit. Ifit would not have been obnoxiously painful and stupid to do so I would have jumped up and hugged him.

"If this is the food a devil can make I want to transfer," I joke as he places it before me. I use my arm that hurt the least to eat and surprisingly found myself more hungry than I had origionally says nothing and I can hear Olivier laugh good naturedly putting himself in a seat next to my bed. We sit in silence while I eats and it is rather pleasant.

I finish shortly and Olivier takes my plate insisting I should sleep now. He smiles at me and apologises profusely as he helps me lay back down and I can almost feel exausten bear down on me. I am sure I am out in less than a minute.

On the flip side it feels like I had just fallen asleep when I find myself ruefully awake. It ws night obviously because the window was dark. The glaring light of a single candle comes from Nicolieu who was reading quietly next to me. He was deep into his book and did not notice my waking which was fine with me for the moment.

Nicolieu though older than me I noted did look rather young with his face smoothed out calmly at his book. Which had me curious. Normally he would be quite serious even reading just informational books trying to absorb every word of the text.

"What are you reading?" I must have startled him because he jolts out of his book and looks sharply over at me.

"Your awake? You are going to ruin your sleep schedule waking up at night like this" did he even listen to my question? Apparently not.

"Thank you mama" I respond sarcastically. I must have been feeling a little better if my sense of humor was back. He thought so too.

He smiled at me and put down his book. "would you like to get up?"

"would I ever" it was true, I felt so stiff from being in bed walking around sounded like a good idea, even if it would hurt a bit. He helped me up in bed first then to my feet. I found many profanities on the tip of my tongue but restrainded them so as not to alert the entire house.

"should we go outside? It is warmer today" he suggest still grabbing one of the lighter sheets and tossing it over me.

"sure" I grit out. I leaned on him more heavily than I would have liked but it could not be helped. This also gave me a wonderful chance to check on how my body was coping. I would actually say rather well for what I expected. Still hurt like hell but at least everything still worked.

Slowly making our way to the back porch we attempted to be as quiet as possible. Allas we had thought we had made it in the clear when we hear footsteps. "what are you up to?" comes the curiously amused voice from behind us.

Thank god it was only Olivier."What do you think?" I ask him continuing to the porch.

He pretends to think it over as he follows before hopping in fornt of us and getting the door, "if I had to guess….avenging your pride maybe"

"I wish" oh did I.

"Too bad you can't" I was about to question what he meant by that but he launched into an explanation happily. "The twin were taking a walk earlier today and happened to pass an unfourtunate young man with a broken hand. They tried to assist him on his long treck home but an unpredictable accident occurred and he slipped into the path of an on coming cart. It seems he will not be making out any time soon. He also has no chance joining the military now with such a mangled leg…. Poor guy" the tone of Olivier's voice suggested anything but sympathy. He sounded joyful, only may brother.

"too bad I couldn't have been the one driving the cart" I mutter causing both my brothers to grin wider.

"indeed," Nicolieu agrees in a moment out of character.

I healed quiet nicely over the next several months and eventually found myself back into our normal routine. The twins were quite proud of themselves and continuously reminded me about how much I owed them now. I paid them back every chance I got, with swift punches and endless haggardling from them in our mock fights. It almost took on a sense of training and lessplay as I got better however.

In our house we never talked about what happened and mother pretended she did not see the scrapes on myself and the twins when we walked int the house every afternoon. Winter was nearly over before I found myself reflecting back on how much different everything was. Life was good, everyone was well and things seemed to be looking up.

I do not know how much more wrong I could be.

I had spent a large portion of that day chasing the twins around town before I lost them and headed home. Papa had sent Nicolieu and Olivier out to gather some fruits and berries for dinner that night. I left to find them subconsciously placing my hand on the knife I had taken a habit to carrying with me everywhere.

The woods near our home were rather dense for being so close to the wall but I paid little mind because there were no animals here I feared. At least not naturally. It took me quite a while longer than expected to find them but when I did I found myself grinning and running after them.

"Oliviver! Nicol-" I was cut off by a sickeningly loud crack to my left. We all looked over and saw red gripping the top of the wall, smoke, and then the screams started.

I had not realized but Nicolieu had grabbed both Olivier and I by our hands and we were running full speed back to the house. We were however stunded still to find we had no house to come back to. A Rock had come flying and taken out our house. The house mother and father had been in when Ileft. A house they had no intentions of leaving for the rest of the day.

I distantly heard a keening sound which brought me back to myself. The keening was coming from me and I was shaking. No. no. this was so not happening, this could not be happening, I had just saw them.

"Come on seraphin, we need to get going comeon" my brothers were dragging me away from the house and toward the river. I could not seem to rip my eyes from the house.

"How?" I asked as they continued to pull me.

"Seraphin, come on" I looked at Nico's face and found tears coming down his face.

"but-"

"No come on. We will not die we will stay together and we will live" his voice cracked at the end and I realized I had to pull myself together.

"The twins-"

"They are smart and they can fend for themselves, we will probably find them on the boat or when we get to safety" He did not believe his own words I could tell but somehow we all continued to move toward the boats.

It took far far too much time and we had to hide and duck out of view as those hiddious terrifying creatures stormed our town. Were we even going to make it? WE were nearly in sight of the boats not and from the looks of t they were closing the doors.

"shit, no no!" shouted Nicolieu as he push forward harder. Olivier and I stumbling to keep up.

Olivier had been silent this whole time until now, whenhe spoke his voice was void of any emotion, but urgent. "Dimitri is one of the soliers up there if we make it before the boat pulls away he might get us on."

This fueled Nicoliue with a new fever and we all called out to him as we roughly shoved and were shoved for a spot closer to the gate. He heard our voices and his eyes widened seeing us. He pushed through for us and in less time than I expected he had us on the boat his facenow becoming hard again. He grabbed both Nico and Oliver and told them something I didn't catch and then tookoff into the city.

"No!" I screamed out but both my brothers grabbed me and heald me on the boat as it began to move. "We cannot lose him to!" I scream continuing to fight them.

Authors Note, please forgive error I will be working on them shortly. I know the build up is slow and probably will be for a bit but I promise for better plot and work later. Also note the rating is due to violence and language, I am unsure of if there will be lemons and lime later but perhaps. Thank you all for looking and rating, tell me what you think.

"Stop, stop it seraphin" Olivier grabs me roughly and forces me to look at him. "He went to look for Natheniel and Matthieu , stop it. He is a soilder, he will…" he stopped before he said be fine. He couldn't lie to me.

I sagged in defeat, Mama, Papa, Matthieu, Nathaniel, Dimitri, all gone from my life, our lives, all we had left was the three of us. Just us. I would not lose anyone else now though. The price we all paid should be done now.

Nicolieu pulled both of us to him where we stayed until the boat reached the wall Maria. It could have been days I could have been minutes All I could now feel was a seeping cold that stung my limbs and then numbed everything.


	4. Chapter 3

Authors Note: My apologies for the short chapter and again for any errors, my main goal is to just get what I have started up which is about 5 chapters and 16.5 thousand words. Again this is my first fanfic of any sort so I will continue to beg forgiveness on my mistakes. Or maybe not, I do not know yet. Rate review let me know what you think. I do not mind critisizm just please don't be an ass about it.

Thank you Lovies

~Chapter Three~

When I woke I remember feeling that same cold I had fallen asleep with. What had it been, nearly a year now? Yeah that wounded about right. My birthday had come by aain but none of us paid it or any other special occation heed now. That required too much energy, it took everything we had to just stay alive.

Then the soliders came by and said any man over nine-teenwas to take part ina mission to take back the wall Maria. Basically telling them to die. Nicoliue was newly nine-teen, Nico 15 I 14, there was no way we were allowing that. We spent several months in hiding until they announced the missions failure.

Time was a cruel and slow process and in comparison to how things used to be it was a wonder any of us could act ourselves still. Olivier had picked right back up o his easy lighthearted attitude however it never reached his eyes. Nicolieu remained quite however it was clear with how he acted around us that he was tense, he had filled out more from constent fights. I stayed small however grew a bit less dainty, I too developed muscle from the do or die nature inside the wall.

Ihated it. Having to live like a filthy rat. Desgusting. When I had a chance to myself I would rub my skin raw and curse till my throat hurt and I was sure my skin would bleed. On one of these particular moments Olivier came in and had to get nicolieu to stop me before I hurt myself. I swore to them I was donewith this.

"I am joining the military screw this shit" I shouted

"Stop, listen to yourself, what will you do there? They will just eat you alive like they do out here, I see no difference" Nicolieu yelled back forcing me to look at him.

"I don't care, I am nota filthy rat and I refuse to live like one." Olivier never said a word as we shouted back and forth for nearly an hour. That night when we crawled into bed he spoke quietly to me.

"I will come with you" he had whispered it so quietly I thought I had imagined it.

"wha-"

"shh" he hushed me when Nicolieu shifted. "I will join you and if we go he will too, we just have to be firm and civil about it, ok?" his voice held optimism and I was grateful for his loyalty. Truth be told we were all loyal to each other however as Nico and I butted heads constantly Olivier was nearly always left to break the tie. For which I kind of feel bad about.

After several more days of the same argument Olivier took a stand and Nico begrudgingly enlisted with us. Both he and I lying about out ages to get in, myself up by one year him down one. Olivier and I passing ourselves off as twins. It was going to be an interesting few years I had to admit.

There was one thing I knew for a fact I would not regret. Any pain, struggle, or enormous effort this took I would not be a dirty rat. I would be standing on my own two feet and make something for myself.

Our first day came and I cannot say I was impressed. Our drill sargent screamed at just about the whole lot of us skipping over, me, my brothers, and several other kids in our class. I guess we all had that look of humiliation on our faces. After the fall of the wall, and struggling to survive I guess we deserved a break. There was one particularly stupid girl who thought it was the time and place to eat, so at least watching her get chewed out was a bit entertaining.

Dinner was nothing special I suppose but it was free food I did not get out of the garbage so I felt content. There was a big commotion aroun one boy in particular. Jeager or something. I did not particularly care. He had his own pride issues and ego to prove so I paid him little mind. The girl with him however was a person I found myself curious about. She moved like a preditor, her weakness from what I could tell was that foolish boy she followed.

We finished quickly when the calling bell rang. I had still been observing the Ackerman girl and she had been stopped by the other fool fighting Jeager. Obvious rejection hit him when she turned away from him without a word and I found myself irritated at his stupidity. Moving to leave he still stared after the ackerman girl and a pushed him out of the way with my shoulder despite our hight difference.

"The fuc-" He stopped when he say me then was about to start again when my brothers followed suit.

"Get lost you trash" I told him. Now that I could see his face I recognized him as the vastard wanting safety within the wall sina.

"Look here-" I cut him off

"No." I was ready to kick him for all the irritation he was causing when Nico stopped me.

"Get going Seraphin"

I growled as I turned and walked away. I guess I never realized the temper I had pickedup since fleeing the wall. We walked on in silence for another several minutes before Olivier perks up. "well that was fun" and for once he actually sounded amused by my almost beating the shit out of some one.

"Don't encourage her Olivier" nico scolds though I can tell he is a bit amused.

When we arrived it was the basic can you do this shit or not test. I didn't bother to worry about it's actual name since that was pointless. We lined up by our last names and waited our turn. The akerman girl was good, potatoe girl as well, and lots others. The Jeager boy, not so much. I could see him getting shipped back to the dumps soon.

Nico's turn came and though no perfect he passed. Olivier next, he did surprisingly well in my mind, he was never one for physical stuff, even after /that/ it was always nico and I. "cadet Ollivett" they called for the third time.

I could almost hear them bitching about the whole last name issue as I was strapped in. "Take her up" they called and the coils lifted me pointlessly slowly off the ground. I relaxed into it and found myself stable enough. I did not know how long I was suppose to stay there and was ticked to see the instructed writing on his clip board rather than telling them to let me down.

"done?" I asked a bit sharper than intended shifting myself toward him.

"what_ oh yes bring her down" wow what an idiot, hopefully they would teach us how to stay alive and not kill us with their obvious stupidity.

I made my way over to my bothers and found Olivier grinning ear to ear. "Well little angel, look who just aced that"

"shut up, I did it just like everyone else" what was Olivier talking about now.

"Uh no you didn't, you looked like a natural out there, better than the Ackerman girl" now he was messing with me.

"shut up" I tell him again and all he does is grin. I love him to much to hurt hi so I just tskinstead and turn to leave. They follow naturally since we are not required to stay for the rest and go back to the barracks.

Naturally male and female were separated and we rather reluctantly parted ways. It had been ages since I had not ad those two by myside, it felt so strange not to have them there asI made my way to my room shared with the other female recruits.

"hey what is your name again?" asked a blond girl about my size. Her eyes were wide and innocent, she had obviously had a very gentle life.

"Seraphin Olivette," cold brisk maybe she would take a hint.

But nope. "I am Christa Lenz, you were really amazing out there today. Do you know Mikasa Ackerman? She did well-"

"that is nice, and thanks but I need to sleep "Last thing I needed was more attatchment. Chances were by the time we entered the military and actually joined a force most of them would be dead in the first year. I hated pain and I hated loss. It was better off this way.

"oh, ok sorry" she slinkedoff and I cought a girl with freckles glaring at me as the blond walked off. Whatever.

I threw my stuff on a top bunk closest to the window and found myself immediately pulled into sleep. Not a peaceful sleep, but one plagued with death and loss.


	5. Chapter 4

~Chapter Four~

I awoke from my piss poor sleep early and was out and dressed before the others had opened an eye or even had the first inclings of awareness. I suppose it was good as well because from my estimations it probably was not even five yet. I was still restless and exhausted as I pushed through the dark haze of predawn and found myself in the practice field we had been in yesterday. Speaking of which we would be back here later for the Jeager boy to try again, then we would be divided into units for the duration of the rest of our training.

The night was still crisp and I found myself relaxing in the brisk calmness. It was not silent due to the night's natural inhabitant but that did not bother me either. Animals were not people, they were not cruel or greedy, they simply did what they must to survive. I could respect that. Still even in the quiet I had an awareness of what was around me quite keenly. When the crack of a left sounded I turned sharply my face dark.

"Who-, damn you, what were you doing?" I growl out relieved it was only Olivier.

"nice to see you too. We figured you were up too, it was too strange not having you with us" his voice trailed off and I found myself a bit surprised they noticed my absence as keenly as I did theirs. But then again, I should know better with them.

"come on Sera," nico says patting me on the head "this was your idea, we better do things right" thenas if they had been plotting it together they take off running. Brats. I follow close behind but so help me my brothers had long legs and were killing me trying to keep up.

"what is wrong sera? Try to keep up no?" Olivier teased and I found myself going faster if for no other reason than to make him eat his words. After all they were right, it was my idea so it only makes sence I push the hardest. But damn, I forgot how much I did not like running. And by their estimations we would have a good hour and then still have time for showers and to get to the mess before a majority of people.

One hour later my legs were a bit tired and my lungs burned as I made it back to the dorm and slid into the communal showers. To my dismay several people were already up and though they might not have noticed my absence when they woke up seeing me come in raised eyebrows. Why I was even caring was another odd question, maybe it was because I would be stuck with them for the next three years? Whatever.

I grabbed a fresh uniform –thank god they gave us each four- and stole away quickly to the showers. They were heated which I thought was marvelous being so used to only the rain when we lived on the streets. Despite such luxury I hurried and got out in I would say 5 minutes flat. I ignored everyone to the best of my ability until we were lined up for role and they called out Jeager to try again. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath and I could not possibly fathom why, it is not as if his fate effect theirs.

"Take him up" the overly angry sergeant called and Jeager held himself for a moment, as he fell –as I predicted- I watched his harness twist in a strange way. Oh, it looked like the hook od his belt was damaged from what I read those did not break. I guess there is a first time for everything.

Sergeant must have seen it as well because he ordered another on the platform to switch gear and this time Jeager held himself up after a brief moment of uncertainty. Nothing brilliant but efficient enough, and then everyone began to cheer for the fool, he did what the rest of us did I did not see why he was anymore worth it than the rest of us. Tch, stupid people and their need to hope on the underdog.

Everyone was swiftly brought to attention and the real reason we were all here was made clear, we were to train and to later kill titans, physical fitness was a key component, so we were told and we would start with honing that, with a ten mile run. I could almost hear the groans of some of the cadets and was interest to see which pansies would drop out after today.

Taking off I kept my brothers toward the front of the herd as we were screamed at to go faster. The stockier built did not have a problem with the speed but their stamina was lacking. Potatoe girl did quite well actually but whined about food for the second half. Jeager and Jean, the two who had it out for each other struggled to out run the other, they would fall back soon I knew. Ackerman did well as expected and to my surprise little blondy and her tall guard with the freckles did remarkably well also.

Practices increased in difficulty and our classes were painfully simple to me, not only that they brought back painful memories from what Dimitri had told me. I spent a lot of my time in these classes working on strategies. That was one of my weakest points, were as it seemed to Olivier's specialty, he and Alert? I think that was his name, would sit beside each other and talk over different ideas, the pros and the cons of each and determine if the ends justified the means.

During some of these classes Jean, aka, horseface would try for Ackerman who followed Jeager and when that failed he would spend some time with Bott Marco, not a bad guy but painfully shy and self-deprecating. I was glad Nicolieu would sit with me on occasion but he had warmed to Reiner and Bertolth. Both of them set my nerves on end, just like the one cadet, Annie.

I personally enjoyed the 3D maneuver gear training best, it gave me a sense of freedom I forgot I could have. I went fast and swift and soon found myself outing other students in this area. Ackerman did well and surprisingly so did Jean but I know I could out do them if I wished. Jean was too focused on getting into the MP he did not experiment in ways that would allow him to further himself with the gear, and Ackerman though a natural did not have a drive for it, oh well, not my problem.

Some times Nico would scold me for a particularly crazy stunt I pulled in training but I would just shrug and Olivier would tell him it was no use. Speaking of those two we continued our early morning practices and they too were not something to be underestimated. I did tell them they should show their efforts more but they shrugged saying did enough for all of them. Lazy asses. I loved them but I could smack them for their stupidity some times.

On one day of particularly hard training I wanted to curse myself for not eating lately because it caught up with me. We were working with the 3D gear in the woods and I of course bolted out ahead, I should have stayed with others because I was feeling a bit faint last time I had eaten was half a loaf of bread the morning before last.

I knew things were bad when the branches started to blur but I refused to slow, and in doing so my vision went black for a moment and I missed my next target, the air was deafening as I fell and I braced for impact as best as I could but I knew I was not coming out of this fall unscathed. That was until something hit me mid fall and my momentum was being pulled side ways.

"tch what is wrong with you new recruits pulling stupid ass stunts like that" the cold voice scolded as we halted on a branch and he set me down. My vision was still swimming and there were spots in my vision but I swore that voice was familiar. "girl, can you hear me?" he asks and I feel my eyes trying to focus on him.

Before I can answer however Olivier and Nicolieu call out for me, had they seen me fall? How embarrassing. "Sera!" when they reached me however they were oddly quiet asthey looked at the man who caught me. I finally got a clear look at him and decided I had never seen him, in person at least, we all knew him as Levi Rivallie, Humanity's Strongest Solider. Ah, shit.

I moved to stand and salute but then thought twice when the world spun a bit, instead I pondered over the look my brothers gave him before scolding them. "oi, idiots show some respect" they look at me and finally come to themselves and salute the Corporal like they should have. I then saluted from where I sat and kicked myself for being so stupid. Hopefully not too many of the cadets had choosen this path, from the sounds of it another was approaching, probably an instructor to reprimand me.

"Levi-Heichou!" called the instructor as he approached. He was one of the younger and newer ones so I could not remember his name but he was eager to please. Shown quite clearly as he began to reprimand me infront of Corporal. What I would have given to punch his teeth in. luckly Levi-Heichousent him away quick enough.

"Tch, your pathetic, shut up I will deal with this myself" the instructor was about to argue but Corporal did not give him the chance. "as an instructor you should be able to keep up with your fastest student and prevent things like this so shut up and go away" I would have sworn he was on the verge of adding 'yo little shit' but he did not.

By this point Olivier had helped me up and I struggled to hide my embarrassment as Corporal looked us all over. There was something in his eyes I did not understand but I thought that was my own stupidity.

"state your name cadet." He ordered and I complied quickly.

"Cadet Olivette Seraphin, sir" I said then thought to add. "these two are my brother Cadet Ollivette Olivier and Cadet Nicolieu" I jerked my head at Olivier first since he was supporting me and then nodded to Nico who was still silently almost glowering at the Corporal. Did he want to get me in deeper shit?

Something seemed to click for the Corporal then and his expression changed. "Cadet Ollivette, that was a dumb ass stunt what were you trying too pull? Are you an idiot?" he questioned.

"No sir," I replied I knew better than to try and explain myself, it would just come out sounding stupid.

"I have a question Levi-Heichou" Olivier asks back in his happy tone that nearly made me want to kcik him, I just wanted the Corporal to leave so my humiliation could be finished.

"Tch, what" he demands

"why are you on the training grounds?" and I thought Olivier was the smart one out of us, but there he goes questioning a superior.

"Scoping out recruits" why was his voice laced with… I don't know, something else.

"ah," what the hell was that about, Olivier? I wanted to ask but dared not.

"Take her back to camp and make sure she takes care of herself, the girl is obviously dehydrated and faint, don't let her be stupid."

Now wat the hell was that? I am standing right here, hello?

"Sir, I can take care of my self" it came out much colder than I expected it obviously broke the bounds of respect for speaking to a superior.

"Obviously" was that sarcasm? Before I could shoot off another remark he was gone and Olivier was urging me to hold on so he could take me back to camp. I argued and grumbled but did as he said eventually.

The infirmary checked me over and told me I was over heated, dehydrated and needed rest. I would not rest for long though, I would not be seen as weak to anyone. After my cold shower and a good meal however I felt my pride slipping and realized how appealing the bed looked. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out anddid not wake until nearly sunrise the next day, I would have not gotten up if not for the Ackerman girl at that.

"Olivette," she whispered and shook my shoulder causing me to jump from my dreamless sleep. She did not say anything after that, she just moved away and began getting ready. I found my respect for her increasing, I was sure others would have let me sleep past call time but she awoke mejust before the others as I normally would have.

I made my way to breakfast and others were also arriving with me. Unfortunately it seemed others had heard of my stunt yesterday and I suppressed my embarrassment.

"Yeah, seems she really is all talk anyway"

"Possible discharge from training"

"Recklessly endangering an instructor"

It seemed everyone had their own theories for what had happened but no one knew it had been Levi-Heichou who caught me. At least that was one small blessing. But that also meant they did not know that people were watching how we performed. I suspected that it would be the same today because we were given the same instruction as the day before.

The difference was that I was back to myself and I would not hold back this time. I would prove myself for what I was, one mistake notwithstanding. Just as the day before I took off full speed and went after the hidden dubbies in the woods. I could hear my brothers exasperated yells behind me but pain them not heed, instead I kept going after targets. I hit six groups of three and four and finished I suspect before the others but that did not stop me from wishing I had more targets to cut up.

I stood with Commander Erwin in the dense trees as we watched the recruits efficiency with their gear and overall performance. My mind was still thinking over Ollivette, all of them. The girl was the same I had saved back on the streets close to five years ago, I had no doubt about that, her brothers secured that fact for me. What had my mind frustrated was, why she did not remember me. I had thought of her several times after Erwin convinced me to join the scouts.

After all, saving her had been what lead to me getting caught in the first place, still those eyes which had haunted me during these years never brought anger to me. I was actually grateful in a way since I no longer lived like a rat on the street but still it frustrated me.

Speaking of which she must have entered the military before she reached the age requirement, I would get details from Erwin later.

Focusing back on the groups sent out there was hardly anything remarkable from the groups I had seen, until she came through, even Erwin made note of her as wekept pace and watched.

"Levi, what do you have to note on this cadet? Wasn't she the one who fumbled yesterday?"

"Yeah, Cadet Ollivette was the one to screw up"

"she seems adept with the gear, close to you even, though we never know how well one will perform in the field. From your confronting of her do you think shewill do well out side of the walls?" that was an interesting question for him to be asking but I knew I could answer him.

"Yeah, she will do well, I saw it in her eyes"

He nods at my assessment and makes note of her performance. She was keeping us on our toes as we watched her hit more targets than all the others we had seen so far, her brothers struggling to keep up and obviously frustrated that she left them behind.

How many brothers did she have back then? The two who looked violently identical ones, the two who were here, and if I remember correctly the family picture showed an older brother already in the military. From what I recall her mother would have never let her enter the military so she was obviously dead, likely her father two. Something I doubt would have left her scar less. For once I find myself almost empathetic towards her, the broken angel I rescued nearly 5 years ago.

"So I will request her then for early graduation," I bit my tongue for a moment before venturing a question.

"what of her brothers? The older one and….." I knew both were older but I did not want to bring that up, I did not want more of my past dredged up.

"her twin? I suppose we may have to offer to take them as well" I nodded, it would be likely, and I doubted they would be happy with this.


	6. Chapter 5

Well hello again, I promise I will be making revitions as soon as possible, please bare with me and I would love to hear back about your thoughts. I am trying but I don't know what my readers thoughts are so please give me feedback.

~Chapter Five~

Early in the morning nearly a week after my humiliating mistake there was a sharp rapt at my barrack's door, everyone was up out of bed and standing as a woman from the academy building came in and looked down the lines. "Cadet Ollivette Seraphin" she called out and I stepped forward still at attention and saluting.

"Get dressed and get your things then report to the sergeant's office within the hour," without another word she turned and left there was a moment of stillness before the whispers started. All I could think was 'oh shit what did I fuck up this time'. Christa Lenz offered me a supportive smile and to my surprise Ackerman was also getting dressed and followed me out.

"Ackerman, you don't have to come why don't you stay and get rested for today," I say to her. Since the day she got me up that day, we seemed to have come to an unspoken relationship of sorts where I covered for Eren and she covered for me. Mostly it meant just keeping horse-face in line which was not difficult and she kept me from having to socialize too much. I suppose she saw how uncomfortable it made me and would cut in when other's tried to confront me.

"Mikasa, call me that please Seraphin, and it is no problem" she spoke less than I often realized but that was because less words were needed when you understand how another thinks. Like her with eren, it was like me with my brothers. We each had priorities and set limits on the ones we would protect, this allowed up this connection or at least respect of sorts.

"If I am not back by noon, tell them," she nods once while we continue in silence to the offices. I enter without another word or glance to her. Going to the desk I give my name and squad number, the woman nods and tells me to go into the meeting room at the end of the hall. As if I was not already paranoid enough when I walked in I saw the head of the training grounds and well as Commander Erwin, Corporal Levi, and other important looking people. I saluted and remained silent, maybe if I shut my mouth I could get out of whatever hole I dug myself into.

"Cadet Olivette Seraphin, you have been summoned here today as a great honor" wait honor?

I did not have to wait since he continued swiftly, "The Scouting Legion is offering you a place in their ranks as an early graduation, it is not mandatory however is highly recommended considering your standing in the class."

I remained silent and I guess the Commander took this as his moment to give his sales pitch. "We offer you this because you seem adept and skilled, overall head and shoulders above your class. The Scouting Legion while dangerous offers a chance to bring your skills to a level that could otherwise not be achieved," he paused for a moment here before adding,"it would give you a chance to leave the walls."

I knew the scouting legion left the walls but hearing it like this I knew my eyes would be alight with anticipation. No walls meant freedom, one of the things I craved the most. But there was one thing I would most defiantly not accept this offer without.

"My brothers sir, what of them, will they be able to come with me" I asked. I kept my voice as even as possible, trying hard to control my expression.

"Cadet, do you realize the honor this is? You have no right to request anything of them. That is out of-" Levi heichou cut him off.

"Shut up" I don't know if I was more startled or the head of the academy was.

"We will offer your twin immediate graduation with you and your older brother a place on your squad after his own completed graduation." I inhaled sharply I would have to be cunning about this if I was to have my way, or at the very least see how much they wanted me in their ranks. Obviously they must have wanted me in some regard because early graduation would take me out of the top ten and remove my spot in the Military Police, not that I ever wanted to be one of them anyway. But still I wished I had Olivier's mind to help me be tactful.

"I am unsure, my twin and Nicolieu are the only family I retain, I know that we would all place in the top ten by graduation and then be able to enter the Military Police more than likely as a unit. I hope you will forgive me but I do not want to lose the rest of my family in any regard." I kept my tone as respectful as I could and tried very hard to be subtle, just as Olivier my 'twin' would have done.

The commander nods and responds rather adeptly, "ah yes, family must be a major aspect for you, in your recorded history you lived in the Shiganshina District with your mother father and five brothers correct? Your eldest brother a member of the Garrison. "My chest tightens as he speaks, not only from sorrowful memories but from the chance that if they have this information they will know that I lied to enter the academy, they could force me to complete another year in that case.

"That is correct, the only ones to survive that day was Olivier, Nicolieu, and I"

"I see, and you would not wish to lose any more family then? Is it them your loyalty goes to, and not Humanity?" now I could feel the hole being dug deeper and I tried to phrase my next words carefully.

"Loyalty is a confusing and misused term in my opinion, there are too many reasons or excuses that people use in the term. I have my pride which will not allow me to lose what I have left, this means my brothers, my skills, and my life. I have goals and desires just like others and I understand the need to follow orders, however there is credit and a need to prioritize as I am sure you know, if I cannot live with my choices then I am less than worthless. I must never regret my actions, and my action must protect my pride," that was right, I would not be a rat on the streets, I would not leave my brothers.

"What would both of your brothers offer us," he asks me after an agonizing moment of silent contemplation.

"My twin Olivier as you would already know has the brightest mind of our class and is unparalleled in strategy. Nicolieu, is strong physically, and would make a good leader given time, he can keep his head when others cannot, he does not freeze and does not hesitate"I sincerely hope my next words did not sound too cocky, "and with both of them you will get myself and my pride two things I have no intention of losing anytime soon."

"I understand" we stood in a silent stare down, I refused to flinch or look away despite what I knew to be a losing battle. He had no reason to grant me anything and in theory I should be bowing to him in graciousness but I was never really good at that, and in comparison to what the twins used to get me into, it would be insulting being anything less than what they worked hard to make me.

"I will make this allowance however if you prove less than what we expect we will make you come back to the academy for another year." I nodded with my head high even though my heart could have exploded out of my chest at any second. I turned to exit but as my hand touched the door Commander Erwin spoke again and I almost lost my head, it had been years since I felt the urge to cry but his words nearly cut me.

"I hope that you will serve us to your fullest potencial such as your brother did on the day of the attack. Dying admirably and in efforts to Humanity's struggle is the greatest gift and honor one could give. Obviously we would preffer to live but death in our line of work is unavoidable and as long as you have furthered the cause I am sure it could keep you, and your brothers' minds at rest. "

I could not move or speak for a moment but when I did I scared even myself with the coldness in my voice. "Dead is dead nothing more nothing less. There is no meaning in what you do unless you see it to the end, alive" I took my leave and as instructed by the scout at the passage I would go to the gates and they would set me up with a horse, he also said he would return shortly with my brothers.

True to his word they came quickly enough and while Olivier seemed his usual self I could see in his eyes that he was panicking, I could guess that they had though the same thing I did and jumped to the worst possible conclusion, that I would be swiftly punished for lying on my application in the service but his unease rested when he saw me on horseback. Nicolieu however was anything but calm. The scouts was the last place he wanted to be, and I knew that at graduation he would have demanded we join the Garrison or the Military Police. Olivier would have agreed with him on one of these, I don't know which though…

I was however distracted from this musing as I watched Nico try to get on a horse, they assumed since he was bigger that he would be able to handle a bigger horse however it soon became apparent that he could not and they settled him on my more domicile mare. I had to admit, I liked this horse much better, I could feel the power of his body under my own and I could see the same fire reflected in his eyes. If I recall correctly from one of our old books the horse I was on was more or less classified as a work horse or draft horse. He was young and quick to challenge his rider.

I am not sure if more amusement came from the fact that my big brother could not handle him or that I could, I think I heard some of the scouts making bets about when I would fall off. I feel really bad for those who betted against me, I would never fall because just like a person can read another you can read an animal, this horse was not going to buck me any time soon.

Olivier was teasing Nico when all three of us were called to the front with the commander and corporal. They said nothing to us as everyone double checked that we were prepared to depart and then took off in a mass for I don't know where I kept my head down as my own thoughts raced, had I made the correct choice? I could only hope.

"Cadet Olivette," all three of our heads snapped up and I could almost imagine how hilarious that looked, Olivier out right laughed, I rolled my eyes at the inconvenience of it and Nico was trying to suppress his own laugh. Erwin noted this and I saw a smile crease in his eyes, Levi did not look at us but did speak.

"What a pain in the ass" as he said that I took a moment to note that my horse had me up higher than him and most everyone, it was a nice change since I am always the shortest person in everything I do. Even Corporal who is only five foot two was taller than me, I mean come on, that is irritating. Especially since he has this look about him that not only does everyone piss him off but that he knows more than everyone else as well.

"I will just address you by your first names from this point forward, Cadets. Starting with Olivier you will be assisting be when we arrive at headquarters, we will be drawing up plans for the next expedition and I want to see if your brain is worth what your sister said it was" Olivier smiled at him happy as ever but I could see his fist tighten on the reins ever so slightly and I wished I had a moment to explain to them just what I had gotten us into.

"Nicolieu you will assist the supply and support teams with whatever they need, and then report to me once you are finished." Nico nodded stiffly and I briefly felt for him, he did not like any of this and likely never would, I just hopped he continued to pull his weight.

"Seraphin, you are going to be assisting Levi-heichou until our first mission then I may decide to give you permanent placement somewhere. " Permanent placement? Ha, everyone knew with the death toll of the Scouting Legion there was little to no permanent spots.

"yes sir" something in my chest tightened and I am not sure why, the corporal did not intimidate me however there we something I was missing being around him. I could not place my finger on it so I just would continue to keep my head down and look forward.

The girl kept her head down and forward after what Erwin said and I wish I know what she was thinking. Her face was closed and she was obviously deep in thought about something I did not know. I myself probably wore the same expression given I still could not get over how she acted in the room earlier. She was strong and resolute, everything you could hope for in a good solider, and obviously Erwin thought the same because he conceded to her proposition.

Disturbingly enough even her cold words as she left strengthened his resolve to have her in the scouts. I myself don't know if I would have kept her but then again I was biased, I still saw the broken girl in the dirt from years ago. Maybe she had a concussion that made her forget me and they never told her? I would not doubt it in the least, the only one who seemed grateful was her mother and I don't think that I was top priority on her list either. No matter it is not really my problem, but I suppose the girl was now my problem. I sighed and cursed under my breath in French Sera was closest to me and her head snapped up.

"Vous parlez francais?" you speak French, she asks me.

"oui, ce de lui?" yes, what of it?

"rein" nothing.

Our conversation did not go unnoticed by either her brothers or Erwin, the only difference was that Erwin was much more subtle in his observations than the brothers who obviously were not pleased that Seraphin had spoken out, she glared at them in return and everyone fell into silence again until we reached out temporary housing near the wall.

Erwin dismissed everyone to their duties and I realized that Seraphin was with me for this part. So I lead her over to the stables and showed her where our horses were kept. "Girl, don't forget where I show you places, I will only tell you once" she said nothing as she followed dismounted and began untacking her horse. She wasn't half bad I would admit but I bet she was regretting having such a big horse now. I had mine untacked and away as she finished putting her equitment up. I told her to hurry up.

Her frown deepened but she was quickly following me into the building where I was about to turn and tell her to wipe her boots but she had beat me to it and was already scuffing her boots off spotless not that they were that bad in the first place. At least she was better than most about that, especially shitty glasses.

"Girl, I have reports that need to be sent out take them to Hanji, and Erwin then get back here and organize these reports in order by date" I just snapped out orders and she said nothing to me leaving quickly. I sighed and leaned back into my chair. I hated paper work and I did not know how I was supposed to deal with her for the next several weeks. Maybe I could push her off onto Hanji or get her to request transfer, though I doubted that would happen, she seemed far too stubborn for that.

I did not move from my spot leaning back on the chair until I heard a knock at the door, I sat up, moving some papers to made it look like I had done some of my work. "Come in" I called, relaxing a bit when I realized it was just her, and not someone like Hanji come to irritate me to no end.

She came in quickly and shut the door without a sound. "Commander Erwin would like to see you heichou" she says blankly grabbing papers and beginning to organize them as I told her. Her shoulders were stiff and I could guess why he wanted to see me.

"what for?" I asked her wanting to know before I went and I figured she would know given her present posture and attitude. It was the kind a person gets when they try to suppress their anger or frustration. She honestly seemed more hostile than anything else given her posture.

"I do not know what for, sir, you will have to ask him that yourself" she clipped and I could tell that she was pissed. At who, me? No reason for that must be Erwin or Hanji. Hanji while an irritation was not something to get worked up about, Erwin on the other had could be a whole nother story. I hardly knew what he was thinking and I could only speculate what he had spoken to her about if he had at all.

I sighed and made my way out, not sparring her a glance. To be blunt as I usually am there was no reason for me to ignore her but there was something about her, about that entire incident that had stuck with me over the years and will not grant me rest. That and there was some fire in her strange green eyes that challenged me not outright of course, it was almost a look that said she would take on the world given provocation. That was not something I had time for at the moment.

Erwin's office was a mess as usual with papers and maps everywhere it almost made me want to turn around and walk out but I could not. How regrettable. I did note as well that the girl's brother was not in the room or in the hall so my guess was right as to why I was in here.

"Levi" he starts and I wish for once he would jump to the chase; some of us did not like playing this game of his.

"Erwin, what is this about?" see much faster and so much less effort.

"What were you and Cadet speaking in and what did you say to her, I will have to admit, all the mumbling you do and I never once fathomed it a language." He was making light of it but I could see it in his eyes that he was serious about this.

"French, she asked me if I spoke it, I said yes and that was the end of the conversation" I tell him starting to get annoyed that I had to leave my office for this, he may have reason to be wary of the new cadets but this was irritating with him questioning my loyalty. I gave him my word back in the streets there was no reason for this.

"I see, then my apologies for bothering you, and send them to Seraphin as well" what was I some messenger boy? I know I was lower ranking but it was irritating so I might as well get my questions answered while I was here.

"Is this what you talked to her about?"

"This is what I spoke with all of them about. If they lied to enter trainings then who is to say any of them have any intentions of being truly useful to the Scouting Legion? Especially her, she is what holds the other two together and she is where the power is, have you not seen it?

"tch" I would say nothing else, this why I stuck to killing those bastard titans, planning plotting and manipulation pissed me off and in my opinion required far too much effort. Not to mention that after seeing her in her family near five years ago I knew much better than him just how big of a role she played in her family.

"Regardless, I simply told them that one mark of betrayal would be the last mark made for one of them" and he was the smart on? Threatening families that simply wish to support one another. I know it is for humanities sake but I hated pointless deaths, and it is quite clear that all they wish for is the wellbeing of each other. Except perhaps Seraphin, I saw something in her eyes that while I could not say for sure obviously was a desire for something. A look I had seen on other's faces including Erwin, and Hanji from time to time.

"Erwin, I may not be a mastermind when it comes to planning and plotting, I also know that I am a solider before anything else, but threatening them seems beyond stupid and a waste of time and effort. I doubt they will betray us." I told him as casually as I could. He often treated me as an equal including me in his mad plans and allowing me to form my own squads before expiditions but I was still firmly aware of the ranking between us.

"perhaps you are right Levi, then I have simply wasted time, but then assume you are wrong, at least I have made an effort to secure loose ends." If anyone knew about those it was me. Then again my cleaning up of loose ends may have been what put me in such a place to begin with.

"Whatever" I walked out without another word and he didn't stop me. I really did not want to see any idiots or have more time wasted so it was back to my painfully dull office for actual paperwork.

Opening the door I was glad to see my room was as spotless as I had left it, but surprised to find Seraphin gazing off through the one large window in the room. The sun was coming through and her hair seemed a red color in the light, her eyes far away.

Fuck that, "Cadet," I called sharply and she stood quickly. She obviously have not seen me come in and I suppose thought she could get off slacking. "I expect your lazy ass did something while I was gone?"

"yes sir," she nearly bites back at me. So she did have an issue with authority after all, this could get fun. Her face however told me another story. She may have schooled her features into even lines but there was no way for her to hide the look in her eyes. I turned back to my desk to see several distinct piles set out.

"They are grouped not only by date with oldest on the top, but also by the person who sent them." She says and now that I looked closer I could see what she had meant. Erwin's pile was the largest, then shitty glasses' and them other pointless reports to the government who couldn't give a shit about what we do as long as we stay out of their hair.

"Tch," what was with this brat, she threw me for such a curse it was troublesome. And from the look on her face as she looked back out the window she thought the same of me. What would have happened if I hadn't saved her? I would have never been caught by Erwin and I could have continued with my life and never had to deal with a single titan. Then again I would have never breathed the free air of the outside world or had a purpose.

Ah hell, why was I thinking about this? Snatching up my pen I began on the first form in my various piles the only sould at the moment being that of my pen on paper and the flipping of pages, however I soon heard a sort of whistling that was distracting me and as my head snapped up Sera left her spot at the window and moved into the kitchenette area that I had set up when we were first assigned here.

"What the hell are you doing brat?" I demanded. She ignored me and I swore silently that she would pay in training. She may have been good from what I saw but it was different what you had someone challenging you who had more experience and knew excactly what to do.

She came back shortly with a cup of tea in hand and she seated herself back on my windowsill. Tch, useless brat.

"Get me a cup if you are just going to go through and use my things without permission" I did not look over at her instead turning back to my reports, Erwin's stack was nearly gone my now but I had not touched the others. I hated paperwork.

She was silent when she came back with my own cup and moved to the sil again. Could she stop sitting there? It was not meant to be sat on.

"Get back down here and start summarizing reports." She glowered as she slid slowly from her perch and landed without a sound sitting at the table next to my desk. Her auburn hair was the same shade I recalled only longer and she seemed just as small. "start with those" I threw her a thick stack for her to start on and when back to ignoring her to the best of my ability. It was hard when I kept getting distracted by the presence of another.

Work continued in silence for the next hour, during this time I had Erwin and Hanji's stacks completed and moved out of the way.I did not realized that the girl had fallen asleep or that she had finished. I suppose after finally blocking her out I had forgotten to check on the brat. I needn't worry about wakingher however because just then a knock sounded and one of the people I was looking over for my new squad on this mission announced herself.

"Petra Ral, heichou, may I come in?" The knock had awoken sleeping beauty and she was up and aware in less than asecond. 'at least she had nice reflexes' I though as I granted Petra entrance. Now Petra was a reliable soldier and I respected her because of all she had proven over the time we had spent together. Sure she was on the younger side but she held an understanding that I found fascinating. That is after all why I kept her around. Though she did make a fuss when I left her off some particularly dangerous expeditions. I wondered if she saw them as my way for keeping her out of death's way.

Petra entered quickly and shut the door behind her, Seraphin stood up because she was a lower rank, Petra just waved her away good naturedly. "Heichou, are you still running trainings this evening? Everyone was getting ready and just wanted to make sure nothing had changed" Petra was always doing things for those other lazy asses, and she did not seem to mind it. I did not get how she could be kind and gentle to others, so open as well we had both lost countless comrades but instead of growing cold she was always willing to open her arms.

"Yeah, and Petra, on your way back down get Seraphin a proper uniform." I jerked my head toward the new recruit and petra nodded.

"Of course heichou" she responds and I turned back to my work. Let her deal with Ollivette perhaps she could show her how to do things from now on.


	7. Chapter 6

I am sorry for taking so long to update, but with school, dance, and shows I can only say that life got in my fictional life's way. So please bare with me I hope to rectify this by getting my next update out my Friday night. First hintings of romance in this chapter though nothing even close to fluffy yet. Review like favorite. ((note on corrections to earlier chapters, my friend id much better at that than I am so as soon as I bribe her into doing the corrections they shall get done, lest I miss something ))

~Chapter Six~

I left silently with Petra trying to ignore the look one Levi-heichou's face. He frowned when he looked at me, yet here with his other cadet I could his eyes soften slightly. I doubt Petra would have noticed it she wasn't looking close enough, but still, it made something inside of me sick.

"You look upset" she tells me, I merely remained silent and she took this as her chance to continue. "It is not unusual when people meet him but he is a good person underneath. Not to mention strong and loyal to the cause and his comrades." I didn't doubt that but my intuition, what size do you think?" I only caught the end of that but coming back to my surroundings I guessed we were talking about uniforms now. I would be getting a jacket and cape with the wings of freedom on them. I also saw boots which looked a bit thicker than mine, probably for the worse terrain of the outer walls.

"The smallest size most likely," I told her: she began shifting through the racks and instructed me to start trying on the boots. Doing so I had to shift my knife from my boot to my sleeve but it was no matter, Petra had her back to me and did not see my unregulated weapon therefore would not report it.

"Try this one" I caught it and slid it on, it was remarkably not too big and I nodded my thanks to Petra. The next pair of boots I put on also fit quite well and for the smallest branch of the military I was surprised at the quality of our uniforms. I voiced this thought to her and she excitedly responded.

"That is because of the commander, he is very good and has improved our success rate while swaying many government official into funding our expeditions." I didn't doubt her on this, he did seem to be not only a well-informed man but also very persuasive, no matter the subject of his focus. Again a simple nod would suffice for her words and despite my lack of vocal responses she carried on happily.

"I hope you do not mind hard work. We work the hardest of all the branches, and to emphasize this fact Heichou gives the hardest of trainings, lots of running then 3D maneuver gear until dark. He is really amazing with it and so quick too," she spend some time thinking this over, or I had assumed that was what she had been thinking about when she tuned and asked me,

"Why did they pick you for early graduation, do you think? They hardly ever pick anyone. You must be really amazing, your brothers too. The one helping Erwin, I can only imagine what his mind must be like to even get a chance at contemplating crucial strategies," I could hear doubt leak into her words the more she spoke, so I could infer that the others would have the same doubts.

"Olivier is more than capable of analyzing any strategy or situation, and they probably chose me because I am a monster," I kept my voice cold and looked ahead. It did not matter if I was considered an angel or demon, both are monsters in their own respects and only those who made themselves monsters could survive in a world like this.

She laughed a bit awkwardly at this, "Seraphin, I doubt that, you haven't had the chance yet, maybe after the first expedition, but until then" her voice trailed off when we reached the group waiting for the Corporal. She was greeted enthusiastically, quickly swept into a conversation, mostly about how long they thought I would be able to hold out today. I pointedly ignored them and moved to sit on a crate nearby.

I had not been sitting long when a girl with brilliant red hair and stormy grey eyes came over and sat next to me. "Sorry about them they know better than to make assumptions like that," she was binding her hair up with a simple black tie, I did not say anything.

"By the way I am Nora Keefe, I work with Hanji. Nice to have you and your brothers here, and I hope you whip their asses during training today." She smiled brightly getting up and moving away not waiting or expecting a response from me. For some reason I had a feeling we would get along well, I should know better though, my brothers were all I needed to think about. Nothing more nothing less.

"Tch," everyone fell silent and lined up, this included me and Heichou walked down the line looking at all of us with what I was coming to believe was his natural facial express. "I suppose we will start with a five mile run, if you take more than half an hour it will be an extra hundred push ups." He began running and so did everyone else. I was surprised he was joining us but none the less I could make sure I was not seen as a liability here by anyone.

I do not know if it was deemed inappropriate for me to keep pace with the Corporal while everyone else stayed back. Too bad, regardless that is where I stayed and even if this pace was uncomfortable. It took us about twenty two minutes to finish and by then I could feel my lungs burning. Most everyone made the allotted time but several did not and when Levi told them to drop and start on their two hundred push-ups they made not a single protest. It seemed that in spite of their naturally irritating nature they were good soldiers.

The rest of us started on one hundred push-ups and two hundred crunches. Heichou was no exception, he finished first while I still had sixty crunches left. Two others finished before me, they got up and walked over to the equipment closet and pulled out their 3D maneuver gear beginning to put it on. The red head I had spoken to earlier dragged me over as well and showed me where my own gear had been placed.

"Thanks," I said quietly but she had already turned in a wave of red getting her own gear on swifty. I followed her example returning to where we had met the first time for more instruction. I was a bit annoyed with the fact that even just standing here even Heichou was taller than me. It was a random thing to note I admit, but until this moment neither of us had stood close enough for comparison or even had been standing at the same time for that matter.

"Simple, even you idiots should be able to get it, keep up." We took a jog to the forest before shooting up. I held back this time however. We were not going at a particularly fast pace and did not want to seem too eager. Gradually our pace increased and I could see some styles beginning to manifest in the people around me as they settled into their pattern.

"Oi, Petra, correct your balance" called heichou who was beginning to pull farther from the group. I took this as my sign to speed up waiting for others to do the same.

"Yes, Heichou!" Petra called correcting herself. She took too long in my opinion, for her sake I hoped that was not a reoccurring pattern.

Again, faster and faster we continued until others were struggling to keep up, I heard some mutter about the insanity and impossibility of going faster. Ignoring them I used gravity to my advantage and picked up my own pace steadily catching up with the Corporal. He was not looking behind him but He must have heard me when I came because he scolded me.

"Fille," he used the French term for girl. My head reeled momentarily; it was like I had heard him call me that before. But that was absurd. Wasn't it? I tuned back into what he was saying. "Than to hold back, after all what took you so long, your speed is an aspect we expect to play a major role in our victories, if you hold back again I will not hesitate to punish you."

I missed the beginning but got the jist, I had expectations and I must reach them. "Turn," he ordered, complying nearly instantly I followed on his heels. Sharp and quick turns were not difficult as long as you kept your eyes open and did not retract your hooks till your momentum shifted. But still I could hear those following curse as they were more than likely thrown off balance and force to slow and right themselves. Corporal just made a sound of irritation and continued back to where we had come.

I suppose we both have something to prove here, he wants to prove I am nothing but a recruit, titan food, I have to prove I will fight and win, that I am strong enough to survive outside of the walls. He pressed faster expending gas at a rate we were warned against and pulling away from me. No way in hell, I was going to fail. I dropped dangerously low with my cables and gravity threw me forward, my cables had delayed in reeling in, I was without control until they came in which looked to be another several seconds.

Damn it! My body started to twist in the uncontrolled flight and I knew the chances of correction were dwindling, it took everything in me not to spaz or call out. I heard the click and immediately threw them out again, one cutting very close to Levi-heichou so much so that he cursed in surprise, throwing me an angry glare. I grinned for the first time in a while and continued forward.

Until we broke the tree line, then it was my turn to curse, flipping upside down in the air and latching myself onto the tree I just came from.

"Stop being stupid fille, watch your surroundings" growled out the Corporal and I grit my teeth. At least I finished first, how many of the others could say that. None. My point.

"Dismissed," he says walking away even as people were landing and it seemed everyone was as confused as myself. Nora came up to me and threw her arm around my shoulders her bound up and curly hair bouncing happily.

"You are insane, I knew you could do it!" she cheers happily and I struggle not to push her off me. She ignored my efforts to slide away instead dragging me towards the mess hall. "He didn't say that you had to go back so come hang with us for a while, you can have some whisky and we will tell you all about our grand adventures. I can even share my knowledge on the next mission, Squad leader hanji keeps me up to date on lots of the planning for her projects so that is not problem, besides I want to see their reaction when you throw in their face how amazing you are."

I did not know how to deal with her, she was too….much. Nearly as happy as squad leader Hanji with whom she worked only less sciency, and geeky. I made a move to protest in earnest but with the hold her taller form had on me I would not have been able to break away without causing a scene. By this point I think I would have taken the slightly abusive Corporal to this cruel punishment. I did not have a say at the moment therefore followed biting my tongue to keep from saying things I might regret. Nora pushed me into a chair and everyone else followed in.

"Don't think that what you did today means anything you newbie, you would probably cower outside of the walls wasting all your skill making you dead weight," said an older and unattractive guy at the table. Petra wacked him in the head and told him to stop trying to be as cool as Heichou. They all laugh at him, before they shift their attention –regretfully- onto me.

"no really," starts a darker haired man, "where did you learn to do those crazy ass tricks, and that speed, how on earth do you control yourself."

I shrugged and took a sip of the whisky someone had brought, it burned going down but I didn't let that bother me too much, I instead tried to use this time to stall. I hated being the center of attention. Nora nudged me for an answer rather impatiently. Before I did answer I sent her my darkest glare, should I be cold, hostile, or cocky? I would have to choose the one that made them leave me alone.

"Speed is simple, like everything else, and I didn't learn those 'stunts' anywhere I just did them," hopefully that would be enough. Please let them leave me alone.

Of course not, what were these people freaks? "Really? That is so cool; no one has ever seen Heichou out done in speed not to mention those stunts and tricks. You are going to be a monster outside the walls" another nameless face tells me and I find the irony of his words almost amusing. Almost but not quite.

Downing the rest of my whisky I stand beginning to move away from the table. "I already am," leaving them speechless I make my escape to my small quarters and lock the door, I had a feeling sleep would elude me tonight as well.

I would have guessed it just before four am when I woke up. The sun had not yet risen so I assumed I would have an hour to get ready before everyone else was up. This meant that I might get first crack at the water in the communal showers for which I was grateful and in a haste to use. I felt disgusting after not bathing before I fell asleep, and was kicking myself for that laziness. After all in our three years at the academy the girls would often gossip about how many showers I took. I hated the filth, I already decided I was not that rat in the streets anymore so everything had to be pristine.

Collecting my uniform and towel I made my way into the showers. When I stripped off my layers aside from digust I felt sore from that stupid flip of mine in training yesterday. The hot water while relaxing and cleansing did little to ease the knots between my shoulder blades. Getting out was also rueful due to the crisp morning air hitting my damp skin, this encouraged haste in dressing and getting back to my room. The sheets would need to be washed as well, so I took those off replacing them with the one extra set I had.

I figured I could wash the sheets tonight once everyone had gone to sleep and they would be ready to but away by the night after. I shifted sparse belongings already straight and organized further on the small dresser before making my way down the winding halls to Levi Heichou's office where Ihad been told to report. I doubted he would be up yet giving me time to clean some of the loose papers and make tea. I could only hope today he would leave me be. Better yet let me see Olivier or Nicolieu for a few hours.

Opening the office door without bothering to knock I entered and shut it behind me nearly squeaking in surprise to see the Corporal already seated and working on papers. That was not what I was expecting, at all.

"why did you not knock Cadet?" he demands and I cannot but frown with how he addressed me this time. For some reason I had expected 'fille' not 'cadet'.

"I did not realize you were in yet sir, I apologies, it will not happen again" I was still a bit startled to see him in already working. From the looks of the piles he had been working for well over an hour. Had he even slept?

"tch," I didn't expect much more. Instead of starting right away on paperwork I set the pot to boil and prepared two cups for morning tea as quietly as possible. I leaned against the wall as I waited for the water boil and willed the pain in my back to go away. It was not disabling but it was enough to make me want to lay back down for a bit. What did I really expect though? I had done those stupid stunts and karma was a bitch.

Tea did not take an obsessive amount of time and was soon ready to be poured. Placing one on the table in front of Heichou and one where I had sat yesterday before taking the seat and beginning on the summaries. Desk work was not glamorous and the longer I sat the more I was sure I would explode with my combination of discomfort and boredom. My summarizing took well into the hour but it could not have been worse than heichou who had to read, comment, correct, and sign them all.

I was quick in punishing myself for such a soft thought. He was a leader, Corporal even, he didn't need or want my empathy, and I didn't need to give it to anyone for that matter. Only my brothers mattered. It was a mantra I found slipping now. Why was that?

"Cadet, go tend to yours and my horses both will need their stalls cleaned out and a good sprint, they have gone a day locked up and they need to stretch their legs lest they become lame." I stand and exit without a word but find myself slowing the closer I got, my shoulders still ached and I would do anything for such a bothersome thingto go away. Still I would follow orders without complaint, and this would get done efficiently as possible if had a say in the matter.

Stalls were cleaned and new hay added, my arms aching a bit after such a manual task. Stretching my arms to tack my horse no more helpful than cleaning the filth in terms of the soreness, at least the ride would be good fun this early. I brought out heichou's horse with just his reins and bridal for guiding and I taking them off at a light jog to begin. Despite both horses being disciplined and trained for military use they were a bit of rivals themselves: taking of faster bit by bit trying to get just a nose ahead of the other.

I did not have the heart to kill their fun just as they had gotten started, so I kept watch being sure nothing would imping their impromptu race. Luckily the long stretch of field allowed them to get out their energy and bring us back at a more reasonable pace. Untacking took less time so when they were back in their stalls and I checked the time it seemed I had taken about an hour and a half. That would mean it was not quite yet noon and lunch would still have to wait.

Debating between stalling and going back to heichou like I am supposed to fate intervened and made the choice for me.

"Seraphin!" came the loud and boisterous call of a certain red head as she made her way over to me. She had papers in her hand and was looking a bit disheveled with several curls falling loose around her face.

"I have to find Olivier for Hanji, she wants him to make a prediction based on ways to subdue smaller class titans. Do you know where Erwin sent him off to now? I have been running around for a while and cannot find him. It doesn't really help I do not know what he looks like," she laughed trailing off awkwardly but not looking the least bit a shamed. "What do you say?" she asks looking into my eyes with her grey ones.

"Alright, Keefe," I respond making my way to the front of the building. I doubted after our little, 'talk' Erwin had let my brother wander far. Chances were more likely that Keefe had just passed him by mistake. She continued to talk about something that her squad leader was planning but tuned her out, I did not particularly care at the moment.

"Say Seraphin, are both your brothers as cold as you?" she pokes, obviously noting my disinterest in their projects and sure as hell determined to get me to talk. There was no way I could politely ignore her, especially thanks to the Commander's polite warning (threat) about being on a short leash.

"No" thinking that should suffice I merely continued vainly thinking I could be done with her shortly.

Unfortunately that also was an incorrect assumption. She continued to pester me with more questions about Nico and Olivier than I cared to answer.

"Are they attractive like you or did you just get the good genes in your family? Aside from your height of course, are they short as well?" now I didn't care that I was short, or that people pointed it out because I could easily kick their asses if I wanted but in this situation I could not.

"If I answer these questions will you shut up?" I snapped.

"Maybe," she chirps leaving me with a frustrated sigh.

"Both of my brothers are taller than me, Nico is broader than us both, Olivier had always been more like me growing up. Nicolieu is blond with grey eyes and Olivier has filty brown hair and Blue-Green eyes." She rolled this over in her head for a moment gifting me with blessed silence for several moments. Then I spotted Olivier and all but ran over to him.

Saluting Erwin, Nora came over and began explaining her presence. "Hanji wanted to use Olivier's brain to predict the outcome, with pros and cons of her latest project. She suggested that he may give her a new view since we have all be staring at this lay out for months." I noted Nora's tone became subtler and calmer when she spoke to her superior, I also noted her eyes lingering Over Olivier.

"Very well, thank you Keefe and let Hanji know I want a report on his performance as well as the results of the experiment. " He turned away without another word speaking to another soldier and sending them off on some task or another. I had bit my lip so hard while Erwin spoke I tasted the copper of my own blood on my tongue. I had to remind myself that one I had proven myself to the Legion this would all be in the past but for now it had me raging.

Olivier and Keefe began to make their way back to the research wing when Keefe darted out and grabbed me. She had waited until Erwin's back was turned as well, maybe I had misread her, or perhaps she was even more of a fool?

"the hell-"

"Thank me later" she cut me off a smile plastered to her face as her eyes twinkled with mischief. Olivier look confused between the two of us then looked at me for answers.

"Ést-elle pour de vrai? Qu'avez-vous fait pour elle?" Is she for real? What did you do nor her? He whispered in French and I could see from my angle she was trying to listen very closely.

"Rein, maintenant l'arrêter, lui faire votre baguette sur le dos?" nothing, now stop or do you want him on our back ? I bit out straightening up and looking ahead. I was actually taking the time to look him over since I had not seen him for a period.

He looked to be ok which relieved me. I doubted any harm would come to him but still, it was nice having my own eyes confirm it however. Hearing us go silent Keefe turns and pouts. "Do not stop! That sounded so pretty and to think you understand each other? Amazing! It is so cool I cannot believe your parents taught you," Olivier was just as startled as I was to get that kind of reaction but he recovered quicker and cut in.

"Keefe, may we ask you not to report us on this? I know we must seem suspicious but he have no ill intent," Olivier had said it as he usually would have, in general it was hard not to believe the sincerity of his words because of his usual way of speaking anyway. But I could see how he was laying it on a bit thicker, his smile just a bit wider, and his voice ever so hinting French origin.

He had her like a mouse in a cat's paws. "Sure," she blushed slightly though it was stark on her skin due to her paleness. Olivier saw what I saw, his eyes tightened. He was soft still, even after these years I knew he would not be able to manipulate another without hating himself. Too bad.

"So what exactly are we going to be observing," Olivier asks, Keefe's eyes had not left him since he started talking and I did not know if I should leave or follow along. Olivier could handle himself so I was going to leave him be. Heichou was probably expecting me back an hour ago and I would more than likely get a good scolding for procrastinating.

Weaving through the stairs I checked my boots before entering the office. I was ready to salute and apologies for taking so long but stopped suddeny at the site before me. Levi Heichou was sleeping with his head on the desk and papers scattered about the desk and floor. I was torn, should I leave? If I did I would get in no trouble but my superior would later ask where I had been and there was a good chance someone else would see him –humanities greatest soldier- which would be insulting to himself.

If I stayed on the other hand I may face repercussions from Levi but no one else. I think I could stand it if it were just him. It couldn't be anything too extreme because then he would have to give a reason which would lead to his little tale about napping in the middle of the day.

My choice had already been made. I shut the door silently and clicked the lock to avoid anyone slipping in unannounced such as I had done. Once that bit was taken care of I too my chance to look him over for the first time. I mean seriously look him over. I had heard some other Cadets talk about how he was attractive but I suppose I never saw it from the pictures they showed us, or I had simply assumed they were acting on hormones and popularity versus actual intelligence.

I still say they were not using intelligence but they were right about him being attractive. High cheekbone, clean kept face, he honestly looked quite young. The only parts of him to betray this was his ever present scowl and the look in his eyes. I admit that was something we shared, many who had seen the titans bore the same look. It was a look that said we had been through hell, then was thrown out only without something precious to us.

A strange sensation shivered down my spine and an undoubtedly idiotic urge told me to brush the hair from his eyes. Like hell, shaking myself back into the real world and away from pointless musings I began picking up papers as quietly as possible and sat them on the desk I had been working at. The ink on some had smeared and while acceptable would look cleaner reprinted.

While thinking over the papers that needed to be reprinted I set to making tea again. It was actually a very good quality to which I was surprised and perhaps that is why I enjoyed it and endeavored to have as much as I could before I was sent away, possibly to die for was indeed too short, I mustn't waste any of it. By this point I still moved quietly but had relaxed my paranoia because he still had not awoke. Thinking about it, he did seem to have bags under his eyes. I thought it may have just been the way his face was built, but maybe what he had seen had haunted him as well. Perhaps he was not the mighty hero they all saw?

'Why in the hell do I care?' I think sharply to myself. It should not matter to me, my only job was to take orders from him, not worry about him or try to make him relatable. I must always remember, the only people who matter to me are Olivier and Nicolieu. No one else, never anyone else.

Tea finished after my self-reprimanding so I set up two cups and took them into the office area to actually get some work done. I set one on his desk in the corner then sat myself grabbing several clean sheets of paper and beginning to recopy the paper cleanly so no marks would be astray in the document.

It read from Levi to Erwin,

_"__In reply to your previous letter I will be sending the final names for my squad with you shortly, Plans would be nicer if you could have a clearer sketch and not just 'try not to die' next time. I also understand what you wish to happen with the Olivette girl and I must say that I do not think you will be disappointed. The girl has extreme skill beyond what was observed prior to recruitment however on top of that she also has an extreme suicide wish in my opinion. The stunt she pulled during our last training was insane and I am unsure of if anyone other than myself would be able to repeat it._

_She does not do well in a group setting so if you wish for me to observe he to her fullest potential that will not be possible unless I allow my team to work more solo than as groups in any of the towns we reach. I would also like to discus with you about having her transferred out of my supervision and somewhere else. Sooner rather than later Erwin…"_


	8. Chapter 7

~Chapter Seven~

I woke up to the sound of pen on paper, then a steady breath. Wait, waking up? Ah shit, I didn't mean to fall asleep.

I sat up muttering another curse. My neck was stiff and some little shit must have come in while I slept and done who fucking knows what. My glare snapped over to the person in question and the bright green eyes of Cadet Olivette. She kept her face neutral and unreadable as she looked at me. I hated that, I could read all of the other brats but not her.

"The hell are you doing back here, fille?" I demand angrily, why did I call her that again? I was falling out of my strict lines that were set up ages ago. Chances were that she would die just like most new recruits on the next mission and it would be on my head. Fuck, I hated this.

"Paperwork sir, as instructed before I left to tend to the horses," I swear I saw her eyes laugh then but she made no comment on the state she found me in instead, "Sir, I made tea it should still be warm and there are three summary reports on the corner of your desk, one about your squad choices, one verifying patterns for the expedition and one from Squad leader Hanji about, basically, nothing. I suppose you already know how she writes her reports at this point." My eyes flicked to the tea then back, continuing my glare with my arms crossed.

"How long have you been in here?" I did not raise my voice but hoped that she could feel my anger through each word, hopefully putting her in her place as well. Because I would be damned if I even knew where that was at this point. How can a single person from your past throw you off so much that you could not act like yourself? Fuck.

"Near to an hour sir," I growled out my frustration turning sharply from her. I was not so much angry with her as I was with myself. How had she come in without waking me? More over how had I let myself fall asleep? It had been a while since I slept soundly through the night but still, getting caught asleep during the day was careless of me.

"Get out, fille. And not a word to anyone," to hide my own embarrassment I did not turn around as she left. There was the click of the lock and I felt a sense of guilt at taking out my anger toward her. She had come in without a word, and locked the door to prevent anyone from coming in on me. Hell, falling back into my chair I turn to the papers looking them over. The clean script of her writing long, efficient, and surprisingly pleasant to look at, I had taken her for brash quick and pointless.

I had little time to think this over nor did I care to spend time thinking things over so instead I started to sort my papers again. I could have sworn there was a letter I had meant to give Erwin here but I could not find it. I probably already sent it off and just forgotten. So I was on to another list with the names he had wanted. I would have a smaller team than the others only 6 with Petra as my right wing. The others were just those with a good kill rating and past performance.

Wasting only a brief amount of time on this task I set it with my other papers and stood. I was hungry but going to the mess with the others would be a bother, especially if that were Hanji or Olivette; any of them for that matter, not just the girl. Seraphin, I doubted would be at the stables again so I chose to head there. It was generally quiet with only animals for company. I could say nothing for the cleanliness of the place but at least the company was better than humans.

Luckily the air outside was not too bad, comfortable even with my gear on. The sky too seemed nice, several clouds kept much of the sun off a person's face without creating a chill or a danger of rain. This kept my pace steady neither rushed nor slowed. Taking observations of the stable area I found it pleasantly vacant so I entered to groom my horse. The average sized brown mare was quick and sharp, she had yet to go lame in her duty or fail when we entered a tight situation. Her eyes seemed to hold an intelligence similar to a humans but in my opinion she was probably smarter.

"Willow," was my whispered call, her head came up almost instantly. I couldn't help feeling pleasure at her responsiveness. Being in the Scouting Legion many times your horses get injured or they rotate you off to prevent pain to the horses from having a consistent rider but they had not done so with this one. I had her for nearly a year if my recollection is correct.

Her nose came instinctively to my palm when I came up and her hot breath raced over my hand, the strong muscles in her neck clearly visible. I lavished in the company of such a beast. Able to kill a man yet gentle and craving companionship. Just as I grabbed my brush from the stall rack the horse next to mine put his head through the side and began huffing much to the annoyance of Willow.

"Get back over," I tell him pushing his head back then ignoring him. It was the horse they had given to my Cadet after her brother tried and failed to get on him. I will admit that it had been quite interesting if nothing else entertaining and if it were appropriate for my reputation I would have entered the betting pool on how well the girl would have faired with him. I have ridden him once before, I found his stubborn nature and obnoxious size a pain, but he was a capable horse none the less.

Looking over my horse once again I was surprised to see much of the grooming done already, hardly anything needed to be done unless I was intending to fully wash my horse. Even after inspecting the hooves I found not a trace to be done that needed my attention. I was unsure if I should be grateful it was done or ticked that my plan was ruined. After all the entire purpose of my coming here had been to groom and clean up my horse.

I brushed through her mane at least before I left; because that is one thing that no matter how many time you do it, it would still tangle and turn into a mess. The hair was coarse and difficult to deal with but I suspected not as bad as dealing with the horse next to mine. I could go over and check on the other horse as well, but I felt I was pressing my luck for time alone here and should really get going. Suspicions proven true when one of Hanji's minions comes in laughing up a storm with a very confused looking (what the hell was his name? Olivier?) in tow.

"Nora? Why are we in the stables? I am confused," the brat continued to ramble for a bit but I did not care to hear the rest of it, our teams would be setting out in three days after all squads had been finalized and all plans handed out. My chances for solitude would be cut down to none then and I would be stuck with all these other people would more than likely die before we returned home.

If it were not for the fact that many deaths would occur I might not actually mind it. There was something about being out of the walls that made you feel so much cleaner. A freedom you cannot get within this hell hole. Sure it was a hell hole out there due to the titans but not the same way it was inside here. Titans are mindless creatures who kill humans, not humans mindlessly killing their own. But then again who the hell cares, obviously not the people here. Sometime I wonder if there is anyone here who thinks like I do but then I remember my past is much different than everyone else's and I can see in their eyes that their greatest enemies are the titans, not the cruelty of this world.

Walking away from the stables with no particular destination I begin thinking about that Cadet of mine. Her eyes were unreadable, then at other times her eyes seem to curse everything and everyone in the world; not just the titans nor people in general. After the fall of the wall Maria aside from dead I could have seen her broken again, not like this. Not with such resolute and cold eyes.

From the looks of things if I headed to the mess hall now I should be able to grab something without too many people bothering me, the fact that it was still quite early was promising to this idea. Turning left, I hurried in extremely pleased to find myself correct in thinking now was a good time to come in. The low population of the room appealing, still I hurried to there the food would be. It was neither good nor bad food in my opinion, better than digging out of the trash but nothing too fancy.

Grabbing my plate I moved to the line area only to run into someone, that someone being my cadet. That uncannily blank expression on her face slipped for only a moment when she saw me but was up before I could see what she hid under that mask of hers.

"Desole," _sorry _she said quietly stepping out of the way and not making eye contact. I still felt guilty for my misplaced anger earlier and while I was not going hurt my pride by apologizing I could make it up in a different way. Chances were she would die on our next outing so I might as well clear things up now.

"Obtenir votre nourriture et venir avec moi," _get your food and come with me_ I tell her turning away to get my own before slipping out. She would either follow or she would not. She was the type to follow orders though, I had little doubt she would be coming.

I lead us up several many sets of stairs to a latch attached to the roof. I rarely came up here for fear others might take a liking and come here so I tried to save it for when I really needed my privacy. I would make that clear to her as well but one thing at a time.

"Pass that here" reflex sent me back to English as I reached for her plate; she passed it willingly before coming up herself. The light hitting her hair made it look nearly red which was incredibly odd. She did not speak for the longest of time and I suppose that means little to me I did not expect anything from her anyhow. She herself was also trying to stay compliant with Erwin's demands, I would imagine this was another reason for her to keep her mouth shut. So I spoke first to aat least make it clear what this place was for.

"Never come up here if you are not sure you are alone. I do not want any other shitheads coming up here and find them in my way." Not eloquent but got my point across. She nodded which was understanding enough for me. There was another pause so I continued with another point.

"No dumb ass stunts outside of the walls, you follow my every order and try not to get yourself killed. Lots of people will die without a doubt but don't put yourself on that list," last thing I needed was for her to be on my mind as a corpse from my squad.

"I won't be. I have reasons to live," she responded almost immediately after that last statement. The look in her eyes hard and unforgiving as she peered forward into the not quite fading light. I keep forgetting that she lost most of her family, what was it again? She had a mother, father, an older brother, and then those two uncannily identical brothers. I do not know how many of them if any she saw die but the look in her eyes was not one I saw on new recruits.

"Do you hate me?" she asked after another period of silence, if not for the fact that she was directly beside me I would have forgotten she was there altogether.

"No, why would you say dumb shit like that," I questioned stunned that someone like her would be concerned about something so trivial.

"You look at me with a look I do not understand, as seem to see me as nothing but a burden. My 'dumb ass stunt' as you like to put it was me trying to prove myself," she tells me, without looking at me. I can honestly say I do not think I have heard that many words out of her all at once. And if my mind was still sound it sounded like a near confession of intentions.

She was dangerous to my mind, I knew because the next words out of my mouth were a near confession in their own right.

"You remind me of a girl I knew before I joined the Scouting legion, she was just a broken little girl that I felt compelled to help for no good reason. But she is dead so there is no point on dwelling on it. Seeing you just brought back those memories, I don't hate you." Confession was close enough to what I was thinking, and none of what I said was a lie. I could see now that the little girl I saved was dead, this Seraphin Ollivette was not a helpless broken girl like the one from the past.

She did not speak again, several minutes later she stood with her tray and left me on the roof. I spent the next hour wondering what the hell was wrong with me, and wondering what it was about her that caused me to be so confused when I was around her. Voices in my head whispered affection but that was bat shit crazy. She was a memory from my past come forward to haunt me of thing better left forgotten.

The sun now nearly set I left, returning to my office to give Erwin my final list of names. He was busy preventing me for having to have a long chat with him. I was sent on my way and returned to my barracks for a towel and night clothes. I was only getting them ready for later, I would wait till curfew had been called for the younger ones to get my shower. It was a pain in the ass that we had a communal shower but it was better than nothing, and better than buckets of cold water. Books were my company during these times, a luxtury I had not been able to indulge as a criminal in the underground despite my best efforts. They were always too bulky to take anywhere in a hurry so I made do without for basically the entire beginning of my life. If you consider living like a rat even worth being called a life.

Midnight was close at hand when I set down the book and headed for the showers. They were blessedly empty and void of life. I stripped and turned on the far faucet. The water hot as it slid over my skin. The dirt and sweat of the day being washed away with an almost painful burn. I almost wished that the water could wash away the thoughts of my mind but I knew it could not.

In one of my few moments of tired defeat I leaned onto the wall watching the water lean trails on my naked skin. Skin that had seen more death and been put through more pain than understandable to most of the population could imagine. What was wrong with me, no one person had haunted my mind to such extents in ages, why could I not disciple my thoughts?

My fist hit the wall. Fuck.

I had finished reading that letter when I got to my barracks after being thrown out my corporal Levi. I did not know how to feel other than a bit pissed that her was treating me like dirt when he did not even know me. I had headed out to the stables to spend time with my horse but when I saw the Corporal headed out I ducked into my stall and stayed as still as possible.

I mean, who else but me would get caught is such a shitty situation, oh yeah, that is right. Me. As if I wasn't already confused by Corporal Jackass he came in and spoke so sweetly to his horse I had to begin questioning the farce he puts up every day to deal with people. My horse began acting up an nearly got me caught when Olivier and Nora saved my ass.

Their arrival sent Heichou from the building. I did not want to be caught by them either at the moment and slid out the other door. Figuring I had just about run out of luck for the day I bolted to get dinner and go to sleep shortly after.

Nope, fate had other ideas. Just fucking wonderful. It was a wonder I had not been spewing profanities all day given it's events.

He bumped into me and it took everything in me not to say something smart. Just to fuck with me I was sure he told me to follow him and I did so because you do not just ignore an obvious order. It was as I was following him that I became perplexed at his behavior. He took me on a path I did not recognize bringing us both to the roof. The view was striking but I was not sentimental.

I had no intention of saying anything because what was there to say? Mulling over how I could get away from him and into the solitude of my small barracks. It would be lonesome without my brothers but at least I would have no one to think or worry about. Like confusing superiors, who made every nerve explode.

"Never come up here if you are not sure you are alone. I do not want any other shitheads coming up here and find them in my way." He said startling me out of my thoughts. Did that mean I was free to come here as I pleased? First throwing me out of his office then inviting me to obviously personal places? I was basically lost with him.

"No dumb ass stunts outside of the walls, you follow my every order and try not to get yourself killed. Lots of people will die without a doubt but don't put yourself on that list," I just did not get it, I blurted out.

"Do you hate me?" immediately following that up with a mental 'shit'.

He denied it and asked me why I asked, so being as vague as possible I responded to him. This led to a surprising bit of information from him to which sent shivers down my spine.

"You remind me of a girl I knew before I joined the Scouting legion, she was just a broken little girl left for dead on the street that I felt compelled to help for no good reason. But she is dead so there is no point on dwelling on it. Seeing you just brought back those memories, I don't hate you."

Almost like de ja vu I remembered that beating when I was twelve, and then blurry faces, a few words in French but none in my brother's voices. I wanted to ask but kept my mouth shut, he said the girl was dead, she was just being delusional. Standing I left and fled back to my room where fell on the bed and clutched my head.

More memories? drifted through my head like damaged pictures. The hands around me, the cold voice, walking, then being set down and wanting to thank my savior.

"my gods," I whispered. My savior was Levi. Undoubtedly and unquestionably, it was him. Tears fell from my eyes without reason and sleep came slowly. That night was the first night I dreamed about him, reliving the first time we met on that street what seemed like years ago.

Forgive the shortness of this chapter, I felt so bad it was taking me so long, and life has been a pain in the ass…. I promise some lemon lime action soon and some other fun bits fo please bear with me. I love you all my faithful readers, all three of you that I know about and I encourage you to comment so I know what you think. ~Lov


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